The Core Four (and more): The Post-Creek Gossip Thread

[LaaLaa]

Usually I'm all "Damnit, celebs are people too! TMZ should respect their privacy, especially with the babies!" yet with this shit I will forever be manic like "WHERE is my tell-all book already!? The timeline demands paternity testin'! Tiny Tom would have to be dead for it to happen, of course, but WHAT IF. Can you just IMAGINE how DK would(n't be able to) handle a pre-existing (brunette!) high-fashion babydoll in her future fam?! Drama drama dramaaaa! Londoooon! And Xenu."

That is Joshua Jackson's nose. I don't know how Katie Holmes got The J's nose on her baby's face. But there it is.

She prayed real hard, just like she learned in Catholic school. You know, back when she was saving herself for Ralph Macchio.

[BreezyK]

Sounds like the J will be making an appearance at Cannes

[IssieCol]

Can you just IMAGINE how DK would(n't be able to) handle a pre-existing (brunette!) high-fashion babydoll in her future fam?!

OMG, I NEED THIS. Can you imagine how fucking AMAZING it would be to see DK 10 years from now duking it out with a teenage Suri over who is more FABULOUS? I basically can't die without seeing DK be the evil stepmother and Suri be the petulant rebellious teenager. And then they eventually come to a mutual understanding and develop a kick ass relationship and spend the rest of their lives being MEGA bitches about Holmes & Yang, which will at that point be sold at Kohl's? Ryan Seacrest needs to lock this shit down for E! I would quit life and watch it on a loop.

[isadora]

I re-read like half this thread today and it's so filled with brilliant/crazy musings I can't stand it. I think it's my favorite thread on this entire board.

[LaaLaa]

I LOVE picking random pages of this thread to re-read! Today's selected reading had Ophy being baffled and meh about the appeal of "that chick [The J's] dating," the quote where Busy called MW to tell her who KH was dating and MW guessed Tom Selleck, and Is wondering if she'd be attracted to Pacey-at-28.

[isadora]

I was quite consumed with my TomKat timeline and Issie's timeline of JJ/KH during the run of the show. And I had company that weekend and Issie and ophy spent the whole weekend coming up with a scenario that made it seem The J never loved KH. Luckily, you swept in, Laa, to clear the air! <3

[ophy]

And I had company that weekend and Issie and ophy spent the whole weekend coming up with a scenario that made it seem The J never loved KH.

Hee. That was actually a lot of fun.

Next time you are too busy to be on the boards, we'll deconstruct Dair and prove how completely unworkable they are, and how Chair just makes so much more sense. Or maybe we'll prove that Richard Burton never loved Eliz Taylor, and how it was all a PRmance!

I totally remember being underwhelmed by DK! OMB.

Well, at least I have zero problems acknowledging when I'm so so so so wrong.

[IssieCol]

The J makes his first appearance at Cannes Scroll down. He looks tired, still, but he also kinda looks like DK's and Jessica's pimp who made them wear matching dresses so he could keep track of his hos more easily.

[ophy]

LOVE.

That coral color is gorgeous on DK, not so much on Jessica.

The J looks sharp, and he's brown as a nut, too. Must have been all that swimming with babies.

What is going on with DK's boobage seems to be unrelated with the structure of her dress overall. I like it, but it's kind of disorienting.

[IssieCol]

Yeah, her are super distracting. She's got them heaved up there and I don't really get it. I think Jessica Chastain must have slept with her stylist's dad AND husband 'cause she usually looks like a mess and I can't explain why. She's got the genetic material to look awesome, but makes the worst choices for her body.

[LaaLaa]

I will always, always swoop in, Is!

You know what screams hand to me? The J's shoes. I think his beloved dress sneakers are fun, but I'm not so sure DK does. In fact, in my mind, he gets to wear them whenever she owes him -- or maybe when she's dragging him to particularly dry event.

That bra is crazy wrong for that dress. Maybe he got to pick her bra too. Hee.

[IssieCol]

I feel like I should do a daily Cannes roundup for NoNo, like to have it for posterity and my own future reference as well as an informative source for you guys.

So yesterday, they went to CK party and were basically adorbs with each other. Lainey tweeted about The J rubbing DK's shoulders when she got cold and some other blogger tweeted about how their PDAs were cute. Also, this story was like a clinic in cuteness. Whatevs happened in the winter of Issie's discontent, if anything even happened at all, seems to be well and truly past them.

Also, this picture totally makes my day because DK and Ewan look like they are judging a blood sport called FABULOUS OR DIE and they just thumbs down the losers and giggle as they watch them fall to their deaths for lacking fabulousness.

[ophy]

DK and Ewan look like they are judging a blood sport called FABULOUS OR DIE and they just thumbs down the losers and giggle as they watch them fall to their deaths for lacking fabulousness.

I would watch the shit out of that sport.

Do a daily round up! I've been distracted lately, and I'll be out of town soon, with limited accessibility, and will rely on this thread to keep me up to date on the CannesCannes.

I wonder if The J had a presentiment that Ewan was going to be so dapper, and so dashing, and so close to DK, and that's why he made sure to high tail it to France for PDA.

[IssieCol]

Oh, but DK would NOT with Ewan, even if she wanted to. And here's why. So another thing that happened yesterday that made me chuckle was that DK and Ewan went on that popular French talk show, Canal or something. And DK is good buds with Melanie Laurent who had a rumored (it's pretty much fact at this point, but I'll go with rumored for lack of evidence) affair with Ewan when they made Beginners. That affair might still be ongoing despite the fact that he is married. Whatevs, his wife is not going anywhere unless he embarrasses her Kutcher style. And so they're there with that knowledge between them when the subject turns to the movies they'll be judging at the festival. And whose gorgeous face comes up on the big screen in front of them? Marion Cotillard. I wonder if DK's been judgy with Ewan this whole time because of the affair and when that picture came up, he got his turn to be smug back at her like, "Oscar WHAT?" They're both probably too live and let live for that scenario to be true, but I'm just gonna pretend like that's what happened.

OH! And I forgot to add my favorite picture of The J from yesterday. He's with Ludivine Sagnier, DK's girl bestie. I call her French Serena Van Der Woodsen. He's looking really good with the shaggy hair that wants to be a fro.

[ophy]

That picture is hysterical. He's all, "Check me with the drunk chick. She is soooooo funny, and sooooooo drunk."