The Core Four (and more): The Post-Creek Gossip Thread

[Ginni]

E! Article on Freekatie.net

Some goodies in it too, though:

While Cruise has not been shy about professing his love for Holmes, he proved to be capable of laughing at himself during an appearance on The Tonight Show Wednesday night.

Mocking his Oprah appearance, Cruise leaped onto Jay Leno's couch and began pumping his arms in the air to the delight of the crowd.

"When I start to think about her, things happen," he told Leno. "So, cease talking."

Cruise also said he was looking forward to "spending the rest of my life" with Holmes.

cease talking. cease talking. Did he say cease? I'm thinking cease belongs up there with solace.

I will CRY with laughter if they get married. I fully expect an engagement announcement soon, but if they get married, I think I'll hurt myself with the giggles.

How did they meet? Does anyone know that? Or was it an arrangement?
"Hi - this is Cruise's management. We need a beard - do you have anyone in mind?"
"Oh hey - we've got Katie Holmes, who currently beards for CK1. Let me set it up."
"Well, have them break up, and then we'll give it a few weeks before we set Cruise up with her - if he were to be involved in the breakup, it wouldn't look too good for him. We need all the approval points we can get, because we're going to allow him to be himself when this news gets out. Hell knows what's going to happen!!"

[isadora]

Actually, the 'how we met' story is shrouded in mystery. Every time one of them is asked they sort of freeze up like a deer in headlights.

The earliest version was that Tom summoned her forth to interview her to be his new girlfriend after seeing Pieces of April (or catching The Creek on TBS -- ha!). But since then they keep acting like they don't want to admit that.

Mike Walker from the National Enquirer says that they met at the Celebrity Center. He implied there is an 'arranged marriage' vibe to meeting there so they both get confused when people ask and they change the subject.

I think it's probably a little bit of both. Cruise is single and needed a girlfriend for the publicity blitz and he had Katie meet him at his $cientology office. With the money he's pumped into that place they probably have a whole TC wing. I don't really understand his completely bizarre behavior (as opposed to his generally bizarre behavior of years past) except for that whole firing-his-publicist-and-hiring-his-sister-thing.

And I believe they'll be married by the end of the year, if not the summer.

[deux]

The tru enuf I go with is summoned-to-meeting by his people after him viewing her on film (or as that Chicago newspaper put it - "ordering from the menu"). That's how he met Kidman and it wasn't shrouded in a butterflies and romping kittens type secret like it is this time.

The only other one I'll agree to believe is TC publicist meets KH publicist and agree their clients are daft enough to make a publicist's nirvana.

Or there's my idea that Mind Head red-flag certain celebs (mostly "good Catholics" for the challenge) and TC was due for a new, next-level pot plant hat so he took the assignment.

Hmmm. I have a lot of tru enufs, come to think of it.

[isadora]

Very interesting Hollywood Reporter article discussing the change in Tom Cruise's public perception and the firing of Pat Kingsley.


If I could be anything in Hollywood it would totally be a tough-as-nails PR rep with crazies for clients. Because then I would know all of their crazy-ass secrets! Hee!

[diesel]

Did anyone else catch KH on Letterman last night? She really isn't very smart. And she tries to do this flirty/innocent/teasing thing with Dave, but it just comes off super-creepy (through no fault of Dave's!). She kept calling Tom her MAN (no, really; she actually kept saying, "He's my MAN!") and she said they've known each other for 6 weeks. (This means they had known each other for what, 3 weeks when he was on Oprah?) Also you could tell she really, REALLY wanted Dave to encourage her to jump on the furniture a la Tom on Oprah (like she wanted to do it but was too nervous to do it without being dared), but he wasn't biting. Also, she told a really dumb story about dolphins. And she said that she thought Tom was sexy in a super-creepy little-girl voice. (Oh, you know the voice I mean. She loved using it on DC.) She did the same freeze-up thing when Dave asked herhow they et and never did really answer the question.

And also? They're soooooo getting married any day now.

Anyway, in summary: freakshow!

[NeoMaxy]

I just want to know who is writing this prewritten talkshow dialogue because it's crap and any one of us could do it better. Hear me Tom? I'll write your 'romance' for you and make it sound like you actually enjoy vagina.

Seriously though, it's weird and very Whitney and Bobby-esque with these over the top yet not very well-versed declarations of love, plus they sound exactly alike! (I think maybe she's a Thetan clone of him that he had frozen back when he found out about his alleged low-sperm count.)

"He's so amazing!"
"She's so amazing!"

"He's so wonderful!"
"She's so wonderful!"

"I am in love, Oprah!"
"I am in love, Dave!"

"I am so happy!"
"I am so happy!"

[IssieCol]

I just want to know who is writing this prewritten talkshow dialogue because it's crap

I'm gonna go with Lucas. I mean, it's gotta be, right? The stilted delivery, the Harlequinesque phrasing, the repetition. It's straight up Star Wars dialogue.

[NeoMaxy]

Well, I've reached my TomKat saturation point.

Dammit, I am so sick of Katie Holmes ruining my pop culture TV programs with her bad acting and weird teeth! Get off my TV, Herpes! I can't watch E! at all these days!

*Phew* I feel better now. I'm just annoyed that Christian Bale and all his hotness is getting no press at all, and he's the one in the rubber suit. All because of Crazy Scientology Man. I'm not going to see either of their damn movies now. SUCK IT, THETAN!

Do you think Tom who has personally, personally gotten several people off drugs has managed to get her off the wacky tabacky or does one need to be high to think Tom is interesting?

[diesel]

I nevah understand people thinking Christian Bale is hot. Ick.

Anywho, it's official. KH is sooooooo going $cientology. She "digs" it, according to Tom.

[NeoMaxy]

I agree that his hotness is definitely relative; I only find him attractive covered in fake blood in American Psycho personally.

But the fact is that he's the star of the damn movie. The two clips of Katie's scenes I've had forced upon me by early morning news programs have showcased some less than great acting on her part. And it's enough to make me not go see it.

[isadora]

It's gotten fairly good reviews for a Batman flick.

I just don't care enough to bother. And I don't get the Christian Bale love either. He's ick!

----------------------------

And she digs it? Hee. I love that. I'm pretty sure they haven't gotten to the part about the aliens yet! You have to pay big bucks and pass all the mind control classes before they give up those kinds of deets!

From that same article:

When asked by the interviewer if he's going to propose to Holmes, Cruise whispered, "It's gonna happen, man. It'll happen."


diesel says by the 4th? I'm going to say end of summer/into fall. Labor Day?

[isadora]

Posting after myself because I have no personal restraint. This comes as a surprise to exactly no one.

Defamer is so funie (and with an update on my favorite new sport How They Met Dodgeball):

But look on the bright side—pretty soon, addicts at NarcAnon will be able to have Joey Potter personally—personally—get them off of drugs.

Perhaps now that Holmes no longer has to conceal her sincere love of the e-meter, the Cruise-Holmes publicity team will finally endorse a story about how the couple met, whether it be on a romantic private jet ride to Clearwater or a candlelit dinner in the Celebrity’s Centre’s most finely-appointed auditing chamber. Two readers note that even notorious hard-balling bully Regis Philbin can’t get an answer to The Question:

Just finished watching the Katie Holmes debacle on Regis and Kelly this morning. Katie spent most of the interview behind a curtain of hair, nervously giggling, hanging her head and shrugging her shoulders. When pressed by Kelly to tell how she and Tom met, she began rolling/lolling her head back and forth, shrugging her shoulders and writhing about in her chair. I was afraid she was going into grand mal seizures. I’m usually the first in line to point out human frailties, especially in the case of a celebrity, but this interview made me so damn uncomfortable I’ve gotta take a Xanax.

And:

Please tell me you caught Katie Holmes on Regis just now. Oh. My. God. Will someone PLEASE make up a story about this first meeting that they can all stick to and remember? You’d think by now they would KNOW she was going to get that question. And still! Stammering, hemming, hawing, blushing, laughter…and no answer. At all!
And of course, the obligatory “Reege Doing The Cruise” moment, which will definitely be in every one of the
rags this week, no question. It’s all just too gloriously painful.

[Chef]

Oh Good Lord!

Will someone just make like O.J. and kill these two already?

[diesel]

Seriously, WHY can't they just make up a story about how they met if they don't want to tell everyone the real deal?

I had more than enough of the hiding behind the hair and smiling with tongue in teetch during seasons 5 & 6; I don't need it on my TV any more!!

[Res]

From Go Fug Yourself

Top Fug
Okay, you guys, I have some really shocking news, which will take you very much by surprise. You maybe should even sit down.

Tom Cruise is apparently dating Katie Holmes. I know! I hadn't heard anything about it either.



What's more, he's apparently asserting his UNBEARABLE LOVE by making her wear only cast-off baby clothing as outerwear, hence the weird, short, unbuttonable, uncomfortable Members Only gear our little Joey Potter's working here. Wait, that may be unfair of me. I am SURE he's not MAKING her wear it, even though factual evidence from Katie Holmes's Pre-Tom-Cruise-Past proves that she does, in fact, usually exhibit beautiful taste in clothing. But I'm SURE Tom Cruise would never MAKE Joey Potter do ANYTHING that she wasn't, you know, CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED to do in some way [other contractually obligated items allegedly include: awkwardly making out with him in public; getting dragged onto Oprah's set to bear witness his complete break with mental health; referring to him solely as "Maverick," except on Tuesdays, when she may call him "Pacey"; pretending that her Paxil is actually just folic acid; marrying him and bearing a human child of his flamingly heterosexual loins].

In fact, what am I talking about? Am I insinuating that this relationship is a...what's the word? A sham? A sham relationship? A sham heterosexual relationship between TOM CRUISE and a very young woman with a big movie set to open quite, quite soon? No! NO. Joey Potter would not lie to me like that. She didn't lie to me when she went off on that boat with Pacey, and she didn't lie to me when Dawson's dad died chasing an errant scoop of ice cream, and she wouldn't start now. This is LOVE. It's LOVE. I am just BITTER and CYNICAL and I can't see REAL TRUE LOVE when it's having a convulsion on my sofa and beating its tiny little fists on my floor.

Clearly, Joey just shrank this little sweater/jacket [swacket?] in the wash because she was SO absent-minded FROM LOVE that she set the washer to "hot" instead of "cold." No one is forcing her to wear tiny little clothes in public as part of a weird Scientology-related mind-fuck process that I'm going to get killed for even talking about. I'm terribly sorry. I never said that. You never read this. They're totally in love, and we're all going to see War of the Worlds, and that other movie with the big bat. Totally.

Thank God I worked through that.

"except on Tuesdays, when she may call him Pacey" HEE