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  • $cientology...

    I'm reading this article about the clams: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2..._fact_goodyear

    I LOVE IT.

    They have a bunch of "open to the public" events--even a restaurant! Do you know I now want to go to that restaurant?

    I love this the most (so far):
    When I went to Celebrity Centre in December, for “Christmas Stories,” an annual variety show, which, like the Renaissance, is open to the public but attended mainly by Scientologists, I detected nothing more threatening than a familiar air of Hollywood clubbiness. The stage, in a large iron-and-glass orangery known as the Garden Pavilion, was dressed to resemble the set of a nineteen-thirties radio show, with an electric “On Air” sign, a wide-mouthed fireplace stacked with logs and laden with red poinsettias, and a giant Christmas tree decorated with red and gold ornaments. The audience, with the exception of a couple of heavily made-up women in slinky, discover-me! attire, looked like typical NPR-listening folks. An actor named Jim Meskimen played the jovial m.c., introducing four ample men in red cummerbunds and bow ties—“the Chairmen of the Chord”—who sang “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” There were sketches about the writers’ strike, and then Lynsey Bartilson and Patrick Renna spoofed Frosty the Snowman (Renna, as Frosty: “The last thing I remember, I was a glass of water at the Four Seasons in Pasadena!”) with a cast of children drawn from Celebrity Centre’s song-and-dance troupe, Kids on Stage for a Better World. Jenna Elfman came out dressed as an elf, in striped tights and a green hat, along with a pigtailed Kelly Preston, also in an elf costume; at the end of their skit, about being laid off by Santa, Ella Bleu Travolta (Preston’s daughter, with John Travolta) appeared, a confident child with glossy dark hair in a red hoodie, to tell them they could have their jobs back. At intermission, cookies and hot cider were served.

    The highlight of Act II was Kirstie Alley, in a formal green gown, making fat jokes while pretending to judge the Westminster Tree Show. (Her children, True and Lillie Parker, wore Christmas-tree costumes.)
    I would be ALL OVER that. I would also enjoy explaining to the Sea org that I am not interested in joining but I sure would love to come back and have more cookies. With Tom Cruise, kthx!
    6 YEAR COMMITMENT TO THE PAIN OF SHIPPING DE. I DONT COMMIT TO MY OWN LIFE AS MUCH DO YOU UNDERSTAND

  • #2
    And you saw the Tom Cruise recruitment vids, right?

    They are righteously amusing.

    Lots of links at Defamer.

    Comment


    • #3
      The church's "Whole Sec" questionnaire

      Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
      They'll never accept Dirtay J!


      Cruise youtube spoofs.
      "Get off your overweight ass and create a real website that actualy serves a purpose, and remember, you will never be loved by Joshua Jackson, he wouldnt even let his dog fuck you."

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      • #4
        My fave is: "Have you given robots a bad name?"

        Although "Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?" is a great question, too.

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        • #5
          For me, the weirdest part of the videos are the intros and outros--I don't know how/what was edited but if those voiceovers were part of the Scientology's production? That's almost as fascinating as the video of TC himself. Weird shit!

          I actually though the 9/11 video was a spoof! Seriously!
          Last edited by isadora; 01-20-2008, 12:38 PM.
          6 YEAR COMMITMENT TO THE PAIN OF SHIPPING DE. I DONT COMMIT TO MY OWN LIFE AS MUCH DO YOU UNDERSTAND

          Comment


          • #6
            This kinda CMSU:

            Mash-up

            Having the South Park guys interject the Xenu story? And then the Magnolia thing? Hee! TC did not get the irony of his performance in Magnolia.

            Also, I love that Andrew Morton is running around telling people that KH was inseminated with RLH's sperm! LOVE.

            I can't believe that because, even for me, that's just too fucking crazy.
            6 YEAR COMMITMENT TO THE PAIN OF SHIPPING DE. I DONT COMMIT TO MY OWN LIFE AS MUCH DO YOU UNDERSTAND

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            • #7
              I lean towards the theory that TC shoots blanks, so they asked his cousin William Mapother for a "donation". Suri is totally a dead ringer for this guy.

              Comment


              • #8
                Wow, Suri DOES look like that guy. I always thought that her wide-set eyes didn't match up with Tom or Katie. But they sure do look like his!

                I Travolta, but it irks me that they keep their first kid, Jet, locked in a closet somewhere while they trot out Ella at any chance. It just makes the whole 'they hide him away because he's severely autistic and that can't be cured by Scientology' theory seem more plausible. Sad.
                "But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”---Kanye

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                • #9
                  HI-larious Jerry O'Connell spoof.

                  http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe

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                  • #10
                    The stories on here are so sad!

                    http://www.factnet.org/Scientology/dianetics_abuse.html

                    I am seriously terrified of losing the ophykid to a cult now. At this point, I would vote for any candidate who would promise to deal with these fuckers the way Germany does. They are evil!!! Why, oh why are they not in jail, on trial, or at the very least paying some damn taxes????

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                    • #11
                      I'm wondering if Jada & Will are getting all Scientologied up because they are trying to cure themselves of being gay? What is it about closeted types and the clams?
                      6 YEAR COMMITMENT TO THE PAIN OF SHIPPING DE. I DONT COMMIT TO MY OWN LIFE AS MUCH DO YOU UNDERSTAND

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                      • #12
                        Jada & Will are gay?

                        WTF??

                        I know my gaydar's shit, but man - not even a GLIMMER of a beep on that one.

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                        • #13
                          I have it on pretty good authority that Jada and Will will both swing either way.
                          6 YEAR COMMITMENT TO THE PAIN OF SHIPPING DE. I DONT COMMIT TO MY OWN LIFE AS MUCH DO YOU UNDERSTAND

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                          • #14
                            I thought Jada was publically bi but I'd never heard anything about Will before.
                            "But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”---Kanye

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                            • #15
                              Okay.

                              I've just seen pictures online of Travolta's son (the one they usually hide) and I'm thinking there may be something to the rumors that the kid is autistic and they aren't dealing with it because of L.Ron.

                              Sad.
                              "But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”---Kanye

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