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The Study of Swiftology

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  • ophy
    started a topic The Study of Swiftology

    The Study of Swiftology

    As requested, a thread for Taylor Swift's luxury planes, lavish Barbie Doll dreamhouses, and sekrit wife/wives, etc.













    Kicking this off with info about her two private planes, as one is wont to do:



    In 2011, she bought a Falcon 900 (rumored $40 million), which she had painted to look like this:











    Taylor is obsessed with certain numbers, which is why there is a 13 near the door, and the tail number includes '89'.












    http://stylecaster.com/taylor-swift-private-jet/

    On the nose of the jet, you can see the number “13.” This is Swift’s favorite number, and oddly enough, before every show, she draws it on her hand. She has profound reasoning for 13 being her favorite, stating, “I was born on the 13th. I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. My first album went gold in 13 weeks. My first number one song had a 13-second intro,” she said. “Every time I’ve won an award I’ve been seated in either the 13th seat, the 13th row, the 13th section or row M, which is the 13th letter.”
    But perhaps she thought it was too flashy and not stealth enough, so it has been repainted in gray:












    She has used this plane to fly boyfs around a fair amount.

    The jet has 12 seats, which means she has plenty of room for her entourage when she tours—or, simply to scoop up her boy toy du jour. Page Six reported that Swift flew Conor Kennedy on the jet from the Hyannis Port Kennedy family compound to her hometown of Nashville, simply because she “missed him” after not seeing him for merely a week. God forbid he have to take a commercial flight! We feel his pain.

    On December 8, her current boyfriend Harry Styles performed with his band One Direction at London’s Jingle Bell Ball, and he arrived in England on Swift’s jet. They had been spending some time together in New York City, hitting up hotspots like the Crosby Hotel and the Dream Downtown, and when it was time for him to head back home, she insisted it be with her—and not with his bandmates. The rest of the boys were spotted at Heathrow after taking a commercial flight (again, the horror).

    Her first time on a private jet may have been a couple years prior to this purchase thanks to Jake Gyllenhaal. He flew her out to London back in 2010, and in her recent single “I Knew You Were Trouble” she references a bad boy “flying her to places she’d never been.” We can only speculate, but our guess is she got a taste of the mile-high life thanks to the dashing actor.


    And of course . . .












    Probs not Calligraphy Haggis that often though, because he has his OWN private plane. Yes, they were a three plane family while together.



    An F-900's interior generally looks something like this:














    But Taylor's is probs customized a lot. I read somewhere that she had the seats covered in 100% cashmere, but I dunno that sounds kinda itchy and hard to clean?



    She also owns a Falcon 50, which is newer but also smaller. They generally look like:









    But I didn't track down a pic of hers, and found no info on how much she paid for it. She parks both of her jets in her own hangar in Nashville, and uses them like a town car.















    No, this isn't one of Tay's planes, but it is a pic of Taylor in front of the Air Asia plane that was painted in her honor, and I include it because my life's dream is that eventually someone will paint me all over a ginormous plane, why not:











    I do have something from last weekend that fits more planes and gayspriacy, kinda . . her little jet (the F-50) went Nashville -- NYC -- Rhode Island, parked there a couple of days and then went NYC-- Nashville, which suggests she flew her parents and herself to High Watch for the weekend, and then everyone back home again. The reason this made the K'lors happy was that the tail number wasn't logged. So they used that as an example that sometimes her jets don't log their tail numbers on flight plans and THEREFORE Taylor could have gone fly fishing in Colorado (Wyoming? Montana?) when Karlie was doing so a few weeks ago . . . but as non-K'lors pointed out, there were NO F-900s orF-50s logged as going from that hangar in Nashville to where Karlie was vaca-ing, and fuck the reflection in the spoon, y'all are reaching.



    But here's something they AREN'T reaching on . . .


    Here's Tay strolling around NYC yesterday (checking on the lavish renovations of her lavish apartment, actually) . . . followed by one of her bodyguards, as per usz.











    And Karlie, also in NYC on Wednesday . . . followed by the same bodyguard, not as per usz.











    This can only! mean! one! thing! . . . . OMB, KARLIE IS CHEATING ON JOSH WITH ONE OF TAYLOR'S BODYGUARDS.

    (Or that Taylor and Karlie went to a gym together earlier in the day but somehow didn't get fully papped).

    The 'why they didn't get papped in the same frame' theory is that Tay is not super keen to be seen too publicly with Karlie right after Ivankagate, which is possible.

    Also, they both wore stripey clothes yesterday, which means they are MARRIEDS. I realize that it must be so exhausting to pick out your clothes every day based on what secret message you want to send to the only truly faithful fans WHO SEE THROUGH THE HETERO CHARADE but that is, apparently, the life Tay and Kar have chosen.


    Cheers to the HETERO CHARADE!






  • IssieCol
    replied
    Taylor's Netflix special was well done to no one's surprise, but it made me bitter anyway because it was filmed in Dallas and their show was MOAR EXTRA then the Houston show. I mean, it always will be because that stadium is huge and they can move around a lot more within it, but still. BITTER. Also, since it was the last night in the U.S. and everyone knew they were filming it for the special, the energy from all of the performers was super amped up and you could tell.

    Leave a comment:


  • dada_teacher
    replied
    I'm starting to resent the kaylors. Why on earth won't they support actual members of the LGTB community?

    Leave a comment:


  • ophy
    replied


    Well, now we know.


    Taylor announced from Tokyo that she is leaving Big Machine and joining Republic/Universal:




    https://www.billboard.com/articles/n...niversal-music

    https://www.rollingstone.com/music/m...ds-umg-757711/











    No word on her old masters yet (although Universal is the one bidding on Big Machine right now . . . so maybe that was part of the deal?) but she did get two major concessions . . . she gets to own her masters going forward, and she finagled payouts to artists on future sale of Spotify shares. No info on straight numbers in general, though.




    I dig her commitment to making sure errrybuddy gets paid:


    While terms of the deal were not announced, a source close to the situation tells Variety that it makes Spotify payments non-recoupable.

    “In the same vein as her Apple letter, Taylor Swift negotiated a history-making record deal that positively affects artists. She knew she had an incredible amount of leverage and could have used that to get her own previous masters back, or to merely focus on getting the biggest cash advance for herself but instead, the most important thing to her was to negotiate a better deal regarding Spotify payments for Universal artists and make them non-recoupable.”

    In 2015, Swift wrote a letter to Apple slamming the company for not paying artist royalties during its free-trial period; the following day, the company changed that policy.






    That's probably going to be the takeaway headline from all of the above.



    In personal news, Taylor used her week long break from tour to hang out in LA with Joe and go to the after parties of The Favourite LA premiere and the Mary Queen of Scots premiere. (One party was on Thursday, the other was Friday).






    https://people.com/music/taylor-swif...te-emma-stone/



    “Taylor showed up at the afterparty and stayed until the end with Joe,” an onlooker tells PEOPLE of the couple whose relationship was made public in May 2017.


    “She and Emma Stone were chatting up a storm,” the onlooker says of Alwyn’s The Favourite costar. “Taylor just stayed by Joe’s side the whole night.”

    . . .

    As of late, Swift has been by Alwyn’s side as his acting career continues to skyrocket. Her support comes after fans spotted the British actor at her Reputation tour stops, where he’s been seen supporting her from the audience.










    The Favorite really might in contention for the Oscars, which makes me wonder if Taylor actually said anything about going or if the person was just specc'ing.


    Anyway, back to back industry events for Joe got the ks grumbling (obvs) because she didn't spend any of her break with Karlie (well, I mean . . .duh?). But most infuriating of all! no shiny pap pics means they can't even dismiss Taylor's support of Joe as just a stunt.


    The kween ain't bothered, even though she's been swearing up and down that Taylor and Joe weren't going to be seen together ever again:


    There is zero indication that she went ‘with him’. This after party was very close to her home. It was an easy drop in by herself. I do not consider this a Toe public appearance. This was just more movie promo, as is certainly required by her side of the contract.

    We could just as easily say she went ‘with her long time friend Emma Stone*’. But heteronormativity says she went ‘with him’.

    As an anon said, “When promo for the favorite is done the “appearances” will be done also. She’s helping out Emma’s movie by being “tied” to him.”


    BOOM. GOAL POSTS MOVED (again).








    * if the kween is not careful, the ks are going to start assuming that Taylor left Karlie for Emma Stone, just sayin'.




    Anyway, Taylor is liking Joe's posts in a matter of SECONDS now:








    And there was this last week:


    https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity...-supports-her/


    EXCLUSIVE

    Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend Joe Alwyn ‘Unconditionally Supports Her’

    “She finds Joe to be one of the coolest guys,” a source exclusively reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “He’s extremely chill, laid-back and unconditionally supports her.”


    I'm just sensing a real 'mutual support' theme here making me wonder if there is some kind of ground work being laid. Maybe this is all just advance promo for a new line of sports bras that they are going to launch together.



    You know who isn't showing unconditional support?



    BEEKDAMNIT ZAYN.



    https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/...-was-traveling


    In an interview with Vogue at one point in the conversation Zayn randomly says this:

    "She was travelling around in a suitcase,” he says, eyes agog, of his pal Taylor Swift’s ability to avoid the paparazzi."








    YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL THAT.











    I don't actually believe it, but oh it will always be hilarious to picture.













    This also seems like bull, but ha anyway:











    I would totes do that if I was famous, but I really can't picture Taylor bothering to include Zayn in any anti-leak measures. She hasn't even been seen hanging with him since they did IDWTLF together.




    And in 'extreme k contortions of the day', pics of the THE NYE's party of 2016/17 (the one that inspired the actual song) came to surface recently:









    . . . and eagle eyed Swifties noted that the pics of Joe and his friends were from Taylor's North London rental (well, obviously):








    (I'd like to note that Joe must have really chill and fantastic friends? There wasn't a single leak about Tay's whereabouts from his friends during the months she was disappeared, which is an impressive display of keeping your fucking mouth shut . . . TALKING TO YOU, ZAYN.)



    . . . and the kween responded thusly:


    I am told by others that it is photoshopped. Taylor is not in the pics either. Regardless though, this Toe stunt was allegedly planned since 2015, so they could easily stage a photo in 2016 of his friends in a room that they knew Taylor would be in later.


    Good lord, they really do think the people behind all of this are DEVIOUS MASTERMINDS. I mean, whoever plans this stuff out so many years in advance should really be using their skills for more important kinds of conspiracies and projects than silly pop star bearding, you know? Like, solve world hunger or something, Tree.
    Last edited by ophy; 11-19-2018, 11:58 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • soccergirl
    replied
    Thank you for your service, Ophy! I feel like I would like to do a PhD on Tumblr fandoms.. if they weren't so head-wreckingly mental. The logical tone in the midst of deranged invention!

    You may recall that I question whether Dianna Agron is legally married to Winston, or if they just gave the appearance of a wedding.

    Leave a comment:


  • dada_teacher
    replied
    Amazing. Fandom is so much like high school.

    Leave a comment:


  • IssieCol
    replied
    Reminder that just cuz two people dressed up in wedding attire doesn’t mean they’re married.
    Second reminder that just cuz two people did NOT dress up in wedding attire or hang out for 2 years or seem to give a shit about each other at all anymore doesn't mean they're NOT married.

    Leave a comment:


  • ophy
    replied
    I am fascinated-horrified by the ks.

    I know right? It's like a trainwreck. They just keep on twisting themselves into knots to make it all make sense, when it never will.


    You know that k blog I mentioned where the blogger is starting to push back on all the ridiculous 'reaches' and contortions and who got kicked out of the kommunity for saying she thought Tay was bi? (the heretik!) Well, lots of other ks are reaching out to her anonymously now to thank her and to say they agree with her that all of the 'source' stuff is looking pretty bogus right now, and one person told her this:


    One blog even told me that she used to say that she had sources and that she had insider info but that it was all bullshit and now she laughs at the way she used to act like that. She’s said it on her own blog and not just to me.


    So . . . yeah. We now have ks admitting to planting fake blinds and also admitting to making up sources as well.








    Oh sorry, 'kookie' and 'krumbles'.


    I would totally think it was a pretty damn cool thing for someone of Taylor's stature to come out as LGBT (IT'S 2018 EVERYONE SHOULD BE BI) but the side effect would be that all of these poor suckers would think that meant every wackadiddle assertion they ever made was ABSOLUTE TRUTH . . . which would be both hilars and sad, really.

    Leave a comment:


  • vanessa
    replied
    Great update, o! I am fascinated-horrified by the ks.

    Leave a comment:


  • ophy
    replied
    One of my favorite things about Taylor's new political activism is that she's had her comments turned off since the beginning of the Reputation era so none of the haters can even respond to her with their outrage and feelings of betrayal. They can't even announce that they will UNFOLLOW which is their preferred way to leave! I mean, how is Taylor supposed to shed tears over losing their love if she doesn't even know!?

    Ha! Turning off comments is the only smart way to be, and it always confuses me that more celebs don't do it. You know, that's one of the reasons why I think Taylor runs Joe's instagram . . . the first reason is because she likes his posts really fast no matter if they are in different time zones or not (and in roughly the amount of time it would take a person to log out of one account and into another account), and the other reason is because as soon as his account went public, his comments were turned off. His captions are sometimes very TSwifty to me, too.








    All right . . . In the past two and a half weeks, I've left the house twice -- once to early vote and once to go to the doctor to make sure I wasn't literally dying of consumption*. This coughing will NEVAH stop and my voice will NEVAH really come back and I don't understand how all of those dying Victorian consumption ladies in operas were able to sing ridiculous arias with this kind of lung capacity, it really doesn't make sense.

    * he says I'm not but I DON'T BELIEVE HIM.





    (actual footage of me being stroked on the cheek by Consumption.)




    But! The world keeps turning, apparently.



    Planning on doing a two part post today . . . one for like, the actual real Tay world and one about the k'lor fantasy world.




    Part 1:


    Big things are actually happening in Taylor's real world . . . She wraps up her tour in the next few weeks (one more Oz show, a NZ show, and a last show in Tokyo).



    She's continuing her commitment to a Blue Wave:





    Taylor Swift: ⬆️ These two Tennessee women ⬆️ voted for the candidate who has proven himself to be reasonable and trustworthy. We want leadership, not fear-based extremism. Early voting goes til Thursday and Election Day is November 6. Please don’t sit this one out.











    [img]https://66.media.tumblr.com/cda2d311...gvx8p_1280.jpg[/img]












    In love life news, she appears to have flown 20 hrs in between Australia shows to go up to NYC (the ks tracked her plane) to hang with her boyfriend while he was doing press there for one of his gazillion movies:









    (that's the $30k+ Patek Phillippe watch Taylor bought him, I think).










    (that's definitely the view from Taylor's Tribeca apt on Joe's insta).



    (and this is from the vid Tay posted from her Tribeca bedroom that next day)








    . . . and after she went back to Australia, she's been wearing the J necklace, so I suppose things are still good there.











    But most importantly, there's also Big Giant Career things afoot!


    Taylor told folks in the Rep Room that TS7 is coming out in 2019, and she will be touring for that album by 2020. So she must know she has enough songs written and ready to go to be able to state that with such confidence.





    (count the fingers!)



    And!







    To sum up! Taylor's contract with Big Machine ends this month. Nobody thinks Taylor will re-sign with them. But! Big Machine owns the masters to ALL of Taylor's previous albums. Taylor really really really wants her masters (duh). She won't sign with BM again unless they are turned over to her. Scott Borchetta can't give her the masters because he wants to sell Big Machine, and it wouldn't be worth much at all without those masters. So! To get her masters Taylor will either have to convince a label (Universal, presumably) that she will sign with them if they buy her masters/Big Machine for her, OR she will have to buy Big Machine herself. Otherwise, she has to say sayonara to all of her old music, and either move forward with a new label or . . . start her own label so she never has to worry again about someone else owning her masters. Those decisions are all being made now, apparently.

    If I were Taylor, I'd figure out a way to buy Big Machine + the masters herself, although maybe it's really more complicated than that.









    If she's already sounding confident about TS7's release, though, she probably already knows what she's going to do, and will announce it soon.







    And meanwhile her good friends Todrick and Ashley A. have her back in the neverending Kanye mess . . .















    And Todrick just SNAPPED:























    ---------------------------------






    Part II


    I'm just going to pretend that I purposely waited this long to sum up K'lor reaction to reality intruding on their fantasyland just so I could let more dramz! unfold within their fandom. Which it has!

    And I want to preface this with an apology for it's length and unwieldiness, but I've been feeling my age lately and am thinking about turning in my tinhat exploration badge. So this might be the last time I do any deep diving into this kind of nonsense. (although I've said that before)

    I'm old and I'm tired and this is a young'un's game.


    HOWEVER . . .

    First, some k'lor fandom background . . . I don't think the current Kween (i.e. high priestess of the k religion) was always the Kween. There was a Kween who kept all of the masterposts and whatnot, but then she graduated high school a couple of years ago and became a Larry instead (fake baby and all . . . which is right out of the tinhat frying pan into the tinhat fire, yikes). Folks stepped up into the power vacuum apparently . . . there was a new Kween, but then when Rep came out she got a bit unhinged and kept bringing up Swiftgron, and the other ks don't like to dwell on What Came Before very much so they slowly backed away from her. Her blog is now 80% supercorp and Meltie* shipping.

    *Meltie = tinhatting about Melissa Benoist and Katie McGrath being sekrit wives, with the extra bonus of haaaaating on ONB, which is hilars to me because he is literally a sweet puppy dog and impossible to truly hate.


    The current Kween's claims to fame is that 1) she knows Karlie! (as in she once attended a Swarovski crystals event at a store, and Karlie was there and maybe said hi and that's basically it) 2) she has 'several' 'solid' sources' 3) she was once a 'source' herself, when she told a k blog anonymously years ago that Karlie was going to wear a red dress to something and BAZINGA! Karlie wore a red dress to something!

    She's also straight, which is a little unusual in the k world, but not totally unheard of. And of course, the real reason she gets to be Kween is that she is a RUTHLESS adherent to k orthodoxy and will block/ban/ostracize heretics from the fandom. (heretiks?)

    As fas as I can tell, none of these kweens have ever been acknowledged by Tay. No invites to secret sessions or pre show meet and greets, no tumblr reblogs or likes -- whereas most of the main Swiftie blogs that ship Joe/Taylor have had posts liked (even VERY shippery ones) and reblogged by Taylor, and many have had such invites as well fyi.


    (WHICH SHE ONLY DOES TO REINFORCE THE HET NARRATIVE DUH)








    Okay, back to the Kween . .. In the weeks after Kar's engagement the current Kween was posting thusly:



    I currently have four strong sources. *♂️*♂️*♂️*♂️

    I believe all of them to be credible. Three of them have proven to be … based on telling me something in advance, and it later turning out to be true. Also, the specificity of what they give me is convincing. The fourth source is a different type of source who gave me so much detail that I trust it. Their information made sense out of something we are seeing.

    These four sources all appear to have different types of relationships with Taylor, Karlie, and/or their teams. All of them seem supportive of Kaylor.
    I do not have definitive dates on the two breakups. But I do know that both are going to happen.

    Here is one message that I have been given with permission to post:

    Karlie is totally against a lavender marriage.
    But if it's so painfully obvious that it's a stunt and they'll never actually go through with it, then why is everyone so pressed about it? Her and tay will probably use this as cover to be seen in public and the engagement will be cancelled in a year.
    I have been given permission to post this … I am not using emojis for this source(s) so I can protect their identity …

    Karlie will be single and will have rekindled her friendship with Taylor to a suggestive degree.
    who said that Karlie converted? Do you believe everything a nameless ‘source’ or ‘insider’ says in a tabloid? She has never said this. She isn’t marrying the crook.
    the josh & joe loose ends still need tying up to avoid cheating allegations from the gp but we're nearly in the end phase
    And yes, we’ll have the last laugh anyway, so hang on tight for now, it’ll be alright
    In the coming months we will get the shaving of the beards.
    I promise I will share my source information when the time is right, and the sources ok it. We are in for an exciting adventure ahead. Buckle up!


    I HOPE THEY ALL BUCKLED UP.


    Those sources of hers are STRONG and CREDIBLE, you guys. And they SWORE to her that Karlie would NEVAH marry Josh not EVAH.









    When the pics of the Karlie/Josh wedding were posted, the Kween started scrambling and backpedaling like it was her damn job:


    I have seen the marriage rumors. Not a single source has told me that this is going to happen. But, I mentioned last night that I suspect a stunt is coming. What a strategic way to change the narrative away from the Saudi murder story that Jared is reported to be complicit in.

    Everything that they have done this week has been stunty. Which should be the most obvious sign that whatever they do this weekend is not genuine.


    WHAT THE HELL DOES 'STUNTY' MEAN IN THIS CONTEXT.

    I guess planning a wedding and inviting guests and having a dress made and a cake baked and a chuppah built is stunty?



    If she were to stage a marriage, take note that it would be in NYC, where marriage licenses cannot be confirmed by the public. You may recall that I question whether Dianna Agron is legally married to Winston, or if they just gave the appearance of a wedding.
    . . .
    I am keeping an eye on the Kloss parents. To be sure, my parents would have led me and my family away from the evil Kushner family long ago. They would not stand in for a stunt like this … nor would my siblings. No matter how much money we were paid. But we do not engage with treasonous people, and those who are complicit in murders, either. All eyes on you Kurt and Tracy Kloss. Let’s see how you lead your family.*

    Taylor and Karlie are still together, according to my sources, regardless of what stunt she pulls this weekend.


    * in case you were wondering . . .







    Hi Mama Kloss and Sisters Kloss! I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN FITTED FOR YOUR HANDKUFFS YOU TRAITORS.



    Anyway, your 'sources' ain't shit if they didn't tell you this was actually happening. Which means all of your assertions about their credibility makes you look super duper not great.








    I mean, what's the point of having all of these SUPER SOLID and TOTALLY CREDIBLE sources if they've been telling you for weeks that this wedding (WHICH JUST HAPPENED) was never going to happen? It's not like they just threw it all together last minute . . . it takes time for Dior to custom make a boring hetero dress, yo.











    So all of those great 'sources' had plenty of time to warn you.



    That's okay, though, because its was FAKETY FAKE:


    I assure you 100% that ‘the event’ was not a wedding. She is not married to him. I have been assured of this, with details. The reasons for ‘the event’, I cannot share, per my source(s). But, it does not include Karlie protecting any of the disgusting criminals in that family with spousal privilege. he is not being blackmailed. This is all about money. Karlie was working last night


    HER SEKRIT WIFE HAS MORE MONEY THAN GOD. HOW MUCH MORE DOES KARLIE NEEEEEEEED. Is Karlie some kind of mythic money beast that must continuously be fed green backs or she will DIE??



    What do I expect now … Karlie will be done with Jail Kushner when their current contract expires. I have said previously that I expect that to be in May. I have not been told May, but I have a fair amount of confidence in that date based on my own observations. How they will end it? I do not know yet.

    Yeah, I mean obviously you don't know. That's the one thing I do believe out of all of this.


    Over time, the Kween began to zig and zag:


    and as promised, here is what Hollywood PR anon told me about the reason for the faux engagement. Keep in mind that he/she is a completely different source from the one above. Here are the two* submissions that I was allowed to post (but held onto for awhile):








    * I forgot to copy the second one, but I think it was some bullshit about smiling through the tears or whatever.


    Still, this one was wackadoo because . . .
    They Want People To Speculate =/= They Need To Stay Klosseted

    ????

    Most recently, she's just been doubling down on errything:


    Two things I can tell you are a fact:

    1) Karlie did not marry Jail Kushner

    2) Karlie and Taylor are still very much together. They have a lifetime planned together.

    You do not have to believe me. But I know these two statements are true. I promise I would not waste my time blogging about them if they were no longer together.

    FACT.








    This one got the ks happy again:



    All indications are that Taylor and Karlie will start hanging out as ‘friends’ this month (November).


    That's exciting! Can't wait to see it!

    . . but hey, why would Josh need Karlie to marry him? To distract from the brutal murder of a journalist that his brother was complicit in? To make his family happy? OR WAS THERE A WILL INVOLVED????


    TELL ME KWEEN.


    There was a LOT of money involved. It was not a wedding. It was a photoshoot for Vogue, Dior, and other smaller brands. They all got paid. A family member of Jail Kushner’s can buy the headlines that they are ‘married’, and Jail Kushner can get his will money.

    Karlie and Taylor are still together. I cannot tell you how I know. You do not have to believe me. Jail Kushner is gay. He is with Mikey Hess. You do not have to believe in Kaylor to see this. It is obvious … and sources confirm this.


    Oh wow, I do love a will subplot!








    I mean, they don't specify whose will, or whether or not anyone has actually died recently in the Kushner fam, or how a FAKE wedding could possibly help someone attain a legal benefit like that, but okay! I'll go along with this fun new plot twist why not.

    Although . . . if Josh HAD TO fake marry Karlie for family reasons, I guess that means his family must really love them together and so badly want Karlie to be part of their family that they wouldn't allow him to marry a rando girl with much less baggage, no for Mama and Papa Kushner it must have been only Karlie they wanted as a daughter in law for sure . . .













    . . . or maybe not.




    Okay here are some other fun theories from various ks:




    The 'contract made her do it':



    there was a wedding clause on their bearding contract. KK thought it wasn’t gonna happen. But JK needed to get married to a WOMAN to get money of some sort. Taylor was aware of the predicament and KK and JK were in heated negotiations about the wedding. As for Kaylor, the blog replied “…So it goes.”

    I have permission to post this.)

    Is the wedding real? Can’t say. I’m not going to condemn Karlie for entering into what she probably couldn’t have known at the time was a Faustian bargain. An annulment on bigamy grounds could happen, I guess, or maybe a staged cheating scandal. Right now, though, the Kaylor era is on indefinite hold.
    The only thing holding me together rn:

    I hope a wedding was part of the bearding contract, and Karlie was forced to do it. Now that she has, they can always separate. The contract was supposed to be ending soon, right?
    I think she got fucked over with a bad contract, and now it feels like she’s dragging through it with minimal damage, but it’s not working. Oh Karlie, or your team or whoever reads this, please change direction, even your most loyal fans can’'t turn a blind eye to this behavior.
    It’s business, Taylor and karlie take their business incredibly seriously. It’s also not that hard to just fake pictures or have some little ceremony.
    She got into a bad arrangement in 2012, that anyone with eyeballs could see was dangerous. Her stubbornness appears to have caught up with her. Now she is stuck in a bad contract. But, hey, she got paid!
    I have been told by multiple people that she did not want to do it, but contracts were messy … she was paid to do it, of course. I think it is a given that she was paid.
    Is there a reason why everyone tends to think karlie has a choice in who she is stunting with? In my experience neither of the closeted pairs ever get that choice, so it seemed more likely to me that she’s being forced into this situation.



    The Kushners forced them to do it and Karlie is scared:



    I’ve been upset with Karlie. But I’m realizing, maybe a lot of her actions have been ruled by fear. Maybe she needs to be lifted up. So Karlie, listen. You are a strong inspiring woman with so much going for you. Be Brave!!!!!!!
    Reminder that just cuz two people dressed up in wedding attire doesn’t mean they’re married. There’s no proof of a marriage license. Previous rumors claimed they would marry next year. But Kushners are in deep shit and need a distraction


    Yep, because the Kushners looooove Karlie and definitely wanted to force her to be part of their family. A half nekkid Gay Goy they didn't even want to meet. Yep yep yep.




    The ever popular 'this somehow makes it easier to stay klosseted':


    Lavender marriages for gay jet-setters are a way of life and always have been. Josh and Mikey are gay jet-setters. Enter Karlie (as J’s beard) to this jet-set dynamic.
    I think we'll see bolder Kaylor nods from both of them as the tour ends and the new era starts.

    Taylor is the biggest star in the world. To be private with a big star, you have to make big moves. Now, no matter what, Karlie and Taylor can do whatever they want. And no one will suspect a thing. Because what would a married gal and registered heterosexual Taylor Swift be doing other than being close friends?


    The also popular 'this just brings us closer to the GAYGENDA ENDGAME':


    I predict that Karlie got married to help create distance so Taylor can come out solo. Then Karlie and J will break up one day. Then she will start hanging more with Taylor, “fall in love,” and we can sleep well again.
    Does the rushed wedding mean Jerk will be imprisoned soon? Or that the contract has finally fulfilled its requirements thus the breakup can take place?
    The harder they push the stunt, the sooner it ends.



    Has this, like, EVER been true? Like, in the LONG HISTORY of tinhatting, has it ever been true that getting hetero married is like, the VERY LAST step before coming out*?


    * noooooooope.




    'Kaylors are being tested! Weak ones are being purged!:



    What if the purpose of this is to cut loose a few Kaylors? Hear me out, too much of anything is bad and Kaylors are on the rise. I have seen the growth since I latched on last year. If a chunk of “weak Kaylors” move on and quit paying attention, that could be the strategy. When Taylor comes out, or maybe just keeps being not subtle af, and starts hanging out with Karlie in public again at some point, most people will be like, “oh, they can’t be gay together, Karlie is married, duh *♀️”


    Umm . . . okay, but I'm not sure how the above plays into below, though . . .



    50% of fans have no idea. 30% kinda notice, don’t care. 20% follow the clues to the truth. We are the fans Taylor lives for, is counting on. When the time comes in the future - we will be her foundation, and she knows this. It is an honor and a privilege to be on the leading edge!
    They don’t want to lose us. We are Taylor’s foundation among fans when she does come out.
    The truth is this fandom (the ks) is important & strategical for them, more than ever, also bc we explain things to the rest of their fanbases : everything about how bearding & fake relationships work, debunking the stunts, staged pics with paps, planted narratives in tabloids (by their PR teams), explaining lyrics in the Rep songs about Kaylor, illogical timelines about the beardings, various clues connecting Kaylor etc etc : So that others can see what’s really going on, how it works: for them to understand things better.


    Both of those things can't be true?



    . . . this is the bestest one, though:



    BABYTIME:


    I am completely and totally perplexed by the latest news. In my Kaylor mind, the only thing that could possibly make sense is that Taylor and Karlie want to have a baby. Karlie will be the mother. Karlie needs to be in a lavender marriage in order to make this happen.


    Yep, a Kushner baby is just exactly what the kaylor love story needs.









    There's also just been a lot of general flailing about in any direction . . . here's some miscellany:



    If Tay, her ACTUAL girlfriend (/wife) can overlook this sh*tstorm of a stunt, then so can we.

    do people honestly think there would be a consummation of their ‘marriage’? They are too gay to consume each other. They would probably end up vomiting.

    I can see and feel the pain in her eyes, Jesus, talking about fake smiles

    But. No. I’m not gonna stop shipping them. If this ship is going down then so am I
    She wants to be KKK? Fine her choice! But that’s not gonna stop me!!

    His boyfriend is Mikey Hess, whom I knew when he was younger. Both men are very very very gay-bottoms, it’s pretty obvious.
    (waaaaait . . . does this person understand the whole top/bottom dynamic, because . . . )


    Reminder for the ones who forgot: Jerk has ALREADY been married to SOMEONE ELSE than Kar, for Months = He legally can NOT marry another person.. Just saying…
    and NO, he did NOT get a divorce recently lol. Why would he divorce his husband anyway ?

    It's tragic people need to fake marry and hide their true loves.

    Kaylor is no longer interesting to me. it was fun. now it’s not. #overit

    I’ll be honest, I’ve lost a lot of love for KK and my faith in Kaylor is waning. I hate this

    If you think back on the past year plus, she has been trying hard to prove that she ‘lives with him’, travels with him as his ‘girlfriend’, is ‘converting’ to judaism, and is now ‘married’ to him. None of this is true.

    Karlie can’t act her way out of a paper bag, and I could out-butch Treason Weasel while wearing a skirt.

    I want to keep believing in Kaylor... However, I want to make it clear that the LGBT+ community deserves better and more positive representation than this!!!
    (funny about that . . .)


    they got married and in the photos his feet aren't even pointing at Karlie which is a sign of disinterest.

    i know that the girls are in love, but a lot of ppl feel like they’re sellouts for this. it’s going to take a whole damn lot to get me back on board with karlie.

    her stunt “marriage” busted up the daydream of her I had in my head
    (this is verging on actual self awareness)


    All this Kaylor drama is making me wonder if Gaylor is real I am questioning myself on Kaylor and makes me wonder if I have been crazy this whole time?
    (and this one, too!)


    all three of her exes ended up married to a man. fucking tragic
    (so close!)


    karlie getting married feels so surreal cause we really went from the 2014 vsfs to this in just 4 years and i feel like someone hit me in the head with a baseball bat

    i’ve decided the funniest part of this whole debacle is that it’s a scam, which actually makes karlie look even worse… at least if she was in love with him she’d have that to stand behind but she’s not so she’s just….. stupid

    Do they claim a divorce after 5 months of marriage? If they go this route, then Karlie is forever his ex-wife in the public eye, and Taylor would be publicly thought of as her second spouse. That would be sad for Karlie to publicly carry his baggage forever, for something that was never a legal marriage.

    As much as I’m disgusted with Karlie, I’m also disgusted with Taylor because she’s also complicit with the stunt. They were into this together. It’s fucked up.
    (blaming Taylor for any of this seems like a stretch?)


    She chose a sham marriage to a criminal over a real marriage with an angel. Fuck her.

    It is exhausting and I feel like I'm being played for a fool on all sides sometimes.
    (well . . . )





    The classic tinhat mix of denial, double downing, and straw grasping. I really feel the most for the ones that are just like, "oh so tired" though.










    They don't seem to realize that if they JUST LET GO of the konspiracy, everything stops being confusing and just makes sense again.



    So! In the past couple of weeks since the 'wedding', things started happening in the k fandom. Obvs, even the most steadfast adherents to the Kween have had to grapple with the fact that her 'sources' let her down big time over the wedding. People are shooketh! They were being told that the bearding era wss OVAH and that the girls were going to come out soon! Maybe as soon as the end of the Rep tour! THAT SEEMS UNLIKELY NOW OH NOEZ. Blogs that have never questioned the orthodoxy before are getting shaky out there and sending in concerned dms and the Kween is starting to block and ban. Some have left the fandom altogether.

    Another group of ks have basically left tumblr and have gone underground with their discussions in a Discord forum . . . maybe so they can question things without being ostracized by Big Ks?


    I also stumbled onto a k blogger who is crawling towards the light inch by inch . . . she started by questioning the smugness and arrogance of the Big Ks and their (clearly terrible) sources, then admitted that she thought Kaylor broke up in 2016, and that all of the 'hints' since then have just been reaches on the part of the ks, and then admitted she was pretty sure Tay was bi and not a gold star (she even shared that a male friend of a friend of hers used to date/hook up with Taylor in LA a few years ago pre-Red) . . . which got her very quickly bannhamered by the Kween and attacked by a bunch of trolls . . . and then regular non-tinhat Swifties reached out to her to help her finally admit that MAYBE?? if Taylor is bi then MAYBE Joe isn't a beard after all and that . . . worse of all! MAYBE REPUTATION WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT JOE JUST LIKE TAYLOR HAS BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG OH THE BLASPHEMY.


    It was a masterclass in the consequences of unfolding logic. (She still believes Karlie and Tay and Tay and Dianna were legit couples, though - and who knows, maybe they were? I'm open to it, obvs. I think everyone hot should hook up with each other.)


    Really interesting to see just how quick and ferocious the kommunity turned on this person, who had been a faithful k for three years. It shows that even when shooketh, there's a cohesion among true adherents that probably? nothing will ever shake. I could check back in with these peeps in 10 yrs and they will still be holding on. (I won't do that! OR WILL I hmmm.)



    This was a Big K's response to that blogger's info about her LA friend dating Taylor:



    Tay is GAY. Meaning No guys. She already was in High school: girlfriends only, no boyfriends & no interest shown in boys/guys either.

    Any guy can claim they hooked up with Tay lol. A few guys, famous and civilian, claimed it over the years..

    There’s NEVER been any tea nor credible elements suggesting any past boyfriends/male hookups, whereas most of her past girlfriends and female hookups are accounted for now (if i may use that verb).




    NEVER ANY CREDIBLE MALE HOOKUPS.



















    NONE WHATSOEVER.




    I have no elegant segue for this (do I ever???), but now! I want to talk just a little about how blind items feed tinhatting and tinhatting feeds blind items and how the one depends on the other.


    So this is the kind of melodramatic nonsense these poor ks are getting from their bullshit 'sources':






    (Becks = Taylor, obvs. As in "no, it's Becky" I assume.)







    . . . which then ends up here, in CDAN a couple of days later:









    CDAN is obviously trash garbage and always has been, but blinds on that site have been an important tool for tinhat high priestesses to shore up flagging support.


    However!


    CDAN did a podcast about Taylor/Karlie a week ago, and the general narrative went like this:


    Reputation was written about Karlie, and Joe is just a beard . . . but Taylor and Karlie split up awhile back. Karlie and Josh are best (gay) friends, but Taylor haaaates Josh. Karlie and Taylor tried to become friends again, but it didn't work out and now they are on the outs. Karlie only married Josh because she felt like Taylor was jerking her around and she was ready for the next thing, business-wise. Josh married her because his family was pressuring him to. Karlie didn't tell Taylor about the wedding, Taylor found out about it on social media.



    Which fits in with some of the blinds posted on the site in the past few years, although not all of them. And it does NOT conform to current K orthodoxy, obviously, which has disturbed those ks that generally take CDAN as gospel. Enty claiming that K'lor is OVAH was definitely not what the Kween and her koven wanted to hear.


    If you want to check out CDAN blinds about Taylor, this dude on twitter has a whole thread of them, going back to the beginning of her career:


    https://twitter.com/JohnDoe78359022/...81753465692160


    I looked through all of them, and this is the interesting bit to me! In the early days, all of the Taylor blinds were standard boy craziness stuff . . . a fling with a male bodyguard, too clingy with her boyfriends, tried to seduce Peter Skaargaaaaard (thereby pissing off his wife), cheated with Tim McGraw behind Faith Hill's back, etc. Lots of obvious bullshit in there, but it's all very hetero. But then! Once the Kaylors rose up through the fandom ranks, all of that changed. There weren't ANY Taylor is Gay blinds until she and Karlie became friends and all of a sudden there was a whole group of people with an agenda to prove.

    All of the blinds became about beards and being klossetted at that point, with no acknowledgement that the site used to think Taylor was very much into guys.










    And once CDAN started to post the k related stuff that was sent in by k'lors, you can pretty much guess who have been driving all the Taylor related traffic there. Which only encouraged the site to post MORE k nonsense.

    This isn't even speculation on my part . . . some ks even admit to having planted blinds on CDAN:


    Confession: I may or may not have sent Enty “tips” before to test if he will publish it. What I have sent him? It’s about Taylor or/and Karlie hooking up with another girl (mostly Karlie) and he did published many of it. I’m so sorry for those who got pissed over those blinds. It’s a confirmation to me however that enty’s blinds are not reliable.

    And to answer your question, nope, he didn’t fact check with me. It’s what actually surprised me. He didn’t fact check and just proceeded to publish it. He didn’t publish everything I’ve sent him but a handful did. And take note that he also adds some details that I didn’t tell him to. He exaggerates. It’s the reason why I take his blinds with a grain of salt. And I think since he believed that Kaylor broke up, he just went for the hookup blinds.

    But enty himself said he publishes 50% fake and 50% true blinds. Sometimes the fake blinds are fed to him by Publicists and sometimes it’s just made up.



    No fact checking! BIG SURPRISE.









    So . . . the tinhats have been using CDAN as 'proof' that Kaylor is an open secret in the industry when CDAN has been actually using them for all of the content on Kaylor being real. It was just one big circle jerk of make believe. There's literally NO WAY to know if a single Taylor blind on that site was ever based in reality, which makes it useless trash garbage, as I've always said.











    Okay, tired now. Taking these old bones back to bed to await the sweet, sweet touch of My Dear Consumption once more.





    Last edited by ophy; 11-04-2018, 08:36 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • IssieCol
    replied
    One of my favorite things about Taylor's new political activism is that she's had her comments turned off since the beginning of the Reputation era so none of the haters can even respond to her with their outrage and feelings of betrayal. They can't even announce that they will UNFOLLOW which is their preferred way to leave! I mean, how is Taylor supposed to shed tears over losing their love if she doesn't even know!?

    I still like Karlie 'cause I feel like she can't win. She fell in love with a dude like 8 years ago and was probs like, "Eh, his family is sketch and maybe straight up garbage, but like we won't even spend that much time with them so wevs." And then they became power adjacent and now everybody is either yelling at her for being too MAGA or not MAGA enough. And that doesn't even take into account the hot mess that is the Kaylor army. Her internal dialogue must just be a running stream of WTF I just wanna teach some folks how to code and bake gluten-free kookies in between my modeling gigs!?

    Leave a comment:


  • vanessa
    replied
    Joe looks ridiculous with that hair and the Kushners are indeed fucking gross.

    Leave a comment:


  • isadora
    replied
    Fans are so fucking gross.

    But also, the Kushners are so fucking gross.

    Life is complicated, you guys.

    Leave a comment:


  • ophy
    replied


    I can't believe there are still kaylors out there. I mean... how?


    Dude, it's INSAAAAANE. A week past the wedding (oh sorry, the 'wedding') and ks are still posting justifications and brand new theories (oh sorry, 'theories'). I need to just sit down and collate them all because they are fascinating (to me, anyway) and fall into specific patterns and reinforce certain mindsets, but I'm still on cold meds and feel too miserable to concentrate long enough. I've been snagging stuff as I see it, though.

    One of the most interesting things to me is the certainty of Karlie going to jail -- when as far as I can tell her only real krime is revealing to the ks that she isn't actually a Barbie doll who is going to re-enact a lesbian fantasy for them. I mean yes! she has made herself more krime adjacent by marrying into an organized krime family, but that doesn't mean she's out there komitting treason on her own or anything. But the scorned ks are ready to lock her up RIGHT NOW, and they will NOT let her just move on like some kind of, you know, more or less innocent citizen:

















    Probably not what the Project Runway people had in mind when they hired her?





    These are her insta comments, a full week after the 'wedding'

















    She will never escape them!












    It's like they can't separate the way she betrayed THEM from the idea that she deserves ACTUAL REAL LIFE punishment of the penal kind. If only there was an ACTUAL Fandom Police to lock up perpetrators like Karlie, I mean that's what we need in this country, obvs.




    Meanwhile Taylor is posting people voting in her insta stories and I think her new political profile is going to stick.



    Yep, she's the Patron Saint of Liberal Voting now.






















    She's posted like, a hundred pics of people posting their voting selfies, so at least that's keeping her busy in Oz between shows. Some people get quite desperate for her to notice them, too.













    But it worked for these poor unknowns!










    So far, a question about Taylor's Dem endorsement post is the only question about Taylor that Joe has agreed to answer on a red carpet:










    (his beard and longer-ish hair appears to be from what he has been filming in Virginia this month -- the Harriet Tubman biopic, I think? There was something else he was suppose to be working on this year, but he withdrew quietly when Johnny Depp was added to the cast. When he pulled out could have just been coincidental timing, though.)


    His publicist was trying to hustle him quickly away as soon as Taylor was mentioned, but he still got his answer in. And in general it looks like they are still fine? Her jet flew him from Richmond VA to NYC the weekend before she was to leave for the final leg of her tour, she liked his recent insta post in under three minutes, and she's been pictured in Australia wearing her 'J' necklace several times. The ks, of course, are ignoring all of that and insisting the contract is over, and they won't be seen together EVER again. All because HE WORE BLUE the last time they were papped. (!!?)
















    Last edited by ophy; 10-27-2018, 11:05 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • dada_teacher
    replied
    I can't believe there are still kaylors out there. I mean... how?

    Meanwhile Taylor is posting people voting in her insta stories and I think her new political profile is going to stick.

    Leave a comment:

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