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  • #91
    Apparently, two of the singers couldn't make it so they asked Beyonce to substitute. Which, okay, but you mean to tell me there weren't two other singers in the whole wide world they couldn't ask to help out?

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    • #92
      He gave "HH". Hee. How easy is that one! It's as easy as CZJ or RZ!
      Helen Hunt? Howard Hughes? Seriously, I'm blanking.


      Speaking of tantrums, we were sort of talking over Sean Penn but got the distinct impression that he was defending Jude Law. Dude, Jude Law will do just fine on his own, okay? He's the new Michael Cane but way hotter. Because this isn't the '70s and ugly people are no longer allowed!

      And one of the creative but technical guys got in a hissy fit because his field is not technical; it's creative, dammit, and he should be on stage or something! WTFE. Smile at Beyonce and go home, k?

      It's funny that Chris Rock hosted the most culturally diverse Oscars ever. There were songs in French (seriously, WHAT was Beyonce thinking on that one?) and Spanish; nominees were black and white and brown all over! It was very exciting. P. Diddy was there for no reason I could figure except that he designed Rock's tux. Rock was making Jay-Z jokes. Hee. It was almost the Grammys.
      Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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      • #93
        Is, of all people I thought you'd be the one to know by instinct! Put it this way, the stylist was way too young to have ever styled Howard Hughes. I seriously did get it was Helen Hunt before the reporter jumped in with her name, and the stylist just raised his eyebrows. Confirmation enough.

        I think I'm going to be the odd one out when I say I'm not mad on Chris Rock and he lost me early when he gave a shout-out to the troops. Not that the shout-out was bad but the bit about "fighting for freedom". grrrr. Thanks for your view, Chris.

        I got the impression Penn was defending Law too.

        <-- thinks Michael Caine is yummy looking in Alfie!

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        • #94
          Neo has the real Helen hate. I just don't get her appeal at all.

          I forgot to talk about the pre-show. That's usually one of my favorite things because you get to see unguarded crazy moments, dresses of non-presenters/winners and just general celebrity crap.

          Melissa & Joan were *clearly* on drugs but different kinds of drugs.

          Joan seemed to be on some sort of muscle relaxer. She was thisclose to channeling the daughter in 16 Candles at her wedding when she plays with the guest's silly hat! She kept saying really weird shit that seemed to be directed at Star Jones. She was doing all these random product placements. It was funny. She's such a bitch.

          Melissa on the other hand was quite thoroughly coked up. Holy cow! Her eyes were all fucked up and she even wiped her nose a few times. And she kept doing this big hand movements! Weird!

          Somebody hates Star Jones because they did not tell what direction the camera would be in. In that dress, I'm sure she looked put together from the front and the back but from the side, looking slightly down into her cleavage? Hello, back fat and jiggly arms and boobies! Yipes. Somebody mentioned her "bling" and she slipped and said, "I'm not supposed to talk about my wedding now!"

          At one point Mr. Is turned to me and said: I can't believe I'm going to say this but Star Jones makes me appreciate Joan Rivers.

          Kathy Griffen's "comedy" was SO painful as to be unwatchable. We started muting her an hour in because we were embarrassed for her. She might be better suited to the interviews. At least it would be fun to watch her make an ass of herself while trying to be funny in front of the celebs instead of just standing on a balcony by herself.

          Winner of the Botox Injection of the Year: Melanie Griffith! WOW. She looked like she was wearing a mask! Awesome! She had saggy old lady skin everywhere but her forehead and cheeks! Hee! I think had she not already had a facelift and had those lips blown up she would be aging gracefully. Didn't her mother age gracefully? I haven't seen Tippi in quite a while though.
          Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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          • #95
            I'm sure that Clint Eastwood is great and everything, but something about him really bugs me. I think it's something about the way his skin looks and the way his voice sounds. It grates, yo.

            I could not hate HS more, and I'm not even sure where it comes from anymore.

            I was hoping that Don Cheadle would win for Best Actor, but I'm okay with Jamie Foxx because he seems like a really great guy who hasn't been all tainted by Hollywood. Yet.

            What was up with the Sean Penn thing? I was only really paying attention to the awards, so when I saw him start bitching about Jude Law I got confused and tuned out, and then I couldn't understand Chris Rock's joke later on. Did Sean Penn run out of things to bitch about and just decide that anything would do? Because, Jude Law? What?

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            • #96
              Originally posted by isadora
              Somebody hates Star Jones because they did not tell what direction the camera would be in. In that dress, I'm sure she looked put together from the front and the back but from the side, looking slightly down into her cleavage? Hello, back fat and jiggly arms and boobies!
              OMG, Mr. D and I were saying the same thing. I really did not need to see the inside left armpit of her dress! And OMG, her back cleavage! ::shudder:: Plus I luvluvluved how everyone she talked to was "my friend" so-and-so.

              And yes, Melanie G looked HORRIFYING. Mr. D and I paused on her during one crowd shot of Antonio because we were so terrified. OMG. Did she get a CHIN IMPLANT?!?!?!

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              • #97
                I know some people didn't like it, but I loved the Man on the Street/Man at the Movies bit. Hee. I think it really drives home how far removed the Oscars are from the public's sensibilities. Plus, the lady pushing Chris out of the way to give her acceptance speech cracked me up.

                Sophie O. (Don Cheadle's) co-star is really pretty.

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                • #98
                  I also had a horrifying few seconds when it occurred to me that Prince might have to hand an Oscar over to Adam Duritz. I wasn't sure what I was going to do but it might have involved having some sort of seizure.

                  Also? Swank lost the rights to play her trailer park card at the Oscars after her FIRST win! That's not something you can pull out again.
                  Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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                  • #99
                    Oh, I forgot to say anything about that Chris Rock at the movie theater thing, Keenai. I get what you're saying, but I think it came off a lot more like Hollywood elitists laughing at the uneducated masses. It also seemed kind of racist, but maybe I'm overreacting.

                    Also, it will surprise no one that Sars and Wing wrote extremely unfunny Oscar coverage for Yahoo. Is there nothing people won't pay them to write.

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                    • I laughed out loud when they were interviewing the people at the Magic Johnson theater. I loved that that one guy's favorite movie was Chronicles of Riddick and that he didn't have a second favorite one. And I loved how enthusiastic everyone they interviewed was about White Chicks! I was all, "Aww, somewhere Busy's laughing her ass off." And I could also relate because I feel similarly toward Harold and Kumar and the Oscar elitists can feel free to laugh all they want at me about that. No shame, yo.

                      I wanted Chris Rock to be funnier, but I wasn't expecting a whole lot when I heard that his co-writer was David Spade. His Nicole Kidman jokes were awesome, but it would've been better if she'd been there, trying to play like she wasn't totally pissed.

                      Can we talk dresses for a sec? I know everyone's already trashed Renee, but seriously, WTF? I get that she wants to be loyal to Carolina, but for real, the weird train with the HIDEOUS ruffle!? Somewhere Loretta Lynn is beyond pissed that RZ totally stole her 1985 CMA dress! And why did Penelope Cruz have the world's largest bow stuck to her ass? Did she have to sit on it all night? ScarJo's hair was atrocious; Maggie Gyllenhaal's dress may have looked good on paper, but all the beading made her hips look thick and weird, Charlize's dress was alright at the top, but the bottom was excessively ruffled and way too 1980's prom for me. Natalie Portman breaks my heart with the way she dresses. She can be so pretty, but for reasons known only to her, she insists on wearing Zac Posen to everything and he has no clue how to dress a short woman! Forget the fact that, CFDA winner and all, I still think Posen's clothes are ass in cut and style. His clothes are especially unflattering on shorties like me and Nat. Wearing a dress that's loose at the top and cuts you off twice? Will make your already short form all the more midgety. Don't do it.

                      ETA: I looke it up after my rant and Natalie's dress was Lanvin. But still! All my points remain the same.
                      Last edited by IssieCol; 02-28-2005, 01:50 PM.

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                      • I actually thought the segment with Chris Rock at the movie theater was funny because it cut both ways. It was mildly insulting to everyone! That's my favorite kind of comedy.

                        And the Twop Oscar thing is awful! The Defamer.com one is very amusing, however.
                        Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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                        • I didn't find the Magic Johnson theater thing offensive at all--- I actually thought it was hillarious. I didn't see it as looking down on their inferior movie tastes...more that the Oscars themselves should be ridiculed for honoring movies that most real people don't see.

                          I also have an irrational love for Annette Bening (I can't explain it, I just do), so I was irritated beyond belief that Swank won again. I really dislike her. Not to Gwyneth proportions, but still strong dislike.

                          But generally I found the whole thing to be a giant snoozefest. We actually Tivoed it and started watching 90 minutes in, and we STILL caught up to Live TV just before the end. If that doesn't say filler, I don't know what does.

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                          • See I get that it was meant to make fun of Hollywood and the Oscars, but I don't think it was executed that well, so it came off as sort of offensive, at least to me.

                            Maybe Is is right and it was mocking everyone and that's why I took it the wrong way. I also just didn't find it funny, whoever they were ridiculing, so maybe that's part of it. Is my sense of humor broken?

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                            • I love that Is is now officially hooked on Defamer. Now I can stop sending her those daily "go read this" emails! Hee.

                              My Helen Hunt Hate has mellowed to disdain now that her career is OVAH. I love when people/places/stuff I don't like goes out of favor. It's like society is finally catching up to meeeeee.

                              Neo: Anti-Helen since 1998!

                              I was on the phone during the Dead Celebs Montage! I'm bitter; it's my favorite part to hear who gets the most Dead Applause!
                              "But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.Ē---Kanye

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                              • I actually thought the dead celebs part was the best of the whole evening. Tastefully done amongst all that other schmaltz. Of course, Brando got the biggest applause and they kind of encouraged it by putting him at the end and he was the only one with some audio.

                                I used to dislike Bening but couldn't anymore after American Beauty. So now I don't mind if she wins things. Not that she does!

                                I really, really wanted Imelda Staunton to win Best Actress but knew she didn't have a chance in hell.

                                The segments in the audience and all nominees for some categories already being on stage bugged me no end. It became a game of why has *that* category been relegated to this versus wondering why another category wasn't relegated to the same treatment. Oscar's way of saying "Documentaries, you're one step away from being announced on an entirely different day with no telecast".

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