Boys in tight pants and other sports stories

[gloopdygleep]

OMG with LeBron James already. My city is INSANE today. Like, THIS went up downtown:




And THIS is what was hanging there when he left:



I'm glad he's back, I really am. But this is embarrassing.

[LaaLaa]

Hilars. I think he's as happy to be home (and no longer hated).

So, my pals and I are doing a group Halloween costume this year, and A League of Their Own seemed like a wayyyy less painful idea three days ago. There's no crying in baseball, but there will definitely be drinking in these baseball uniforms.

[roly]

Anyone else feeling kind of anxious about the Olympics? I'm totally going to watch the Opening Ceremonies tonight, but Zika is pretty terrifying and between that, the polluted water that some of the athletes have to compete in and just the general feeling that these games are going to be a super-tempting target for terrorists (given rumors that Brazil's security is not so great), I'm pretty apprehensive about the whole thing. But I want them to be safe and normal so I can just enjoy the god-like swimmer's bods, the addition of Rugby and the opportunity to watch Gabby Douglas slay again. Please, universe, let them all compete in peace.

[IssieCol]

The entire city of Houston since the beginning of October, with an escalation after each series:



We've been able to go to a handful of playoff games, including the first home game of the World Series and it's been tense and crazy and stressful and super fun. Mr. Issie went to Game 5 with the rest of the dudes in my family and I'm surprised he didn't get alcohol poisoning. I need the Astros to close this out tonight because one more night of this tension would be UNBEARABLE. No one is even pretending to work today. Even the patients (who all have cancer) want to talk about baseball non-stop.

[isadora]

Aw, Chicago was like that last year! It really brings everybody together!

[LaaLaa]

Congrats, bb! It feels good, don't it! Who at the nono is going to have the winning home team next year?

[IssieCol]

It is glorious! This has been an insane year for the city. We hosted the Super Bowl and the World Series with an 800 year flood in between. Also, while our baseball team was taking down the three most storied franchises in the sport, our football team lost both our best defensive player/Harvey fundraising hero JJ Watt and our phenom rookie QB to season-ending injuries. What a time to be alive in this town, y'all.

I legit think it could be a rematch next year. The Dodgers are so good OMG and I can see them coming out of the NL again. And we aren't losing anyone important in free agency next year. Our Core Four are here for a couple more years at least and they are all babies. Young and talented and scrappy and they're besties. But the baseball regular season is so loooooooong and so many things can happen, so who knows? But if it's not the Astros again, my prediction is that Snick and Em will be the ones in here gloating this time next year.

[LaaLaa]

I'm glad you guys have something HUGE to celebrate after enduring that biblical mess! We're losing our entire homegrown core this year, so it's gonna be another 30 years until my city feels that champion magic. The parade vid of people tossing the hat up the parking garage is so, so pure and illustrates perfectly how everyone in your city is going to be in a crazy good mood for the next year.

[IssieCol]

That parade video is about as succinct a descriptor of Houston as you can find anywhere. A bunch of problem-solving helpers who pitch in where they can and get excited about it. There's another video of the same thing from further down the street and there's a dude in the background yelling, "CATCH IT! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED!"

I saw some highlights from the last game of y'alls season where they had Hosmer and crew come out for an ovation and it gave me the sads. I don't follow KC baseball much, but that was the team that beat us in the 2015 playoffs and they're really good together. But when it's time to get paid, it's time to break up the band I guess.

[LaaLaa]

You guysssss! Yay sportsball! All our teams just like to make the city wait a few decades, that’s all.

[IssieCol]

I'm happy for Andy Reid! He's had a terrible cursed run so fingers crossed that he'll prevail. When the Texans were winning by so much last week, the entire city was holding our breath waiting for them to screw up and reliably, they did. There were several tweets during the game that were like, "Y'all sit down and shut up, don't breathe wrong, don't move any body part, just stay still and maybe this won't turn into an embarrassing clusterfuck!!! I SAID SIT DOWN!" It's basically a cometragedy anymore. I didn't even bother being sad when it was all happening even though it was tough to explain to Mr. T that this is his future as a fan of Houston sports teams. And don't even get me started on the messy ass Astros. That's been REAL fun to explain to children who don't even know what an asterisk is or why people keep throwing that word around.

[LaaLaa]

BRB crying for the rest of my earthly existence.

[IssieCol]

I'm extremely happy for you, Andy Reid, and all of your Mahomies!

In unrelated business, in a different life or parallel universe, I would be married to Kyle Shanahan because we would have met at UT, but spending all my days wishing I was married to Robert Saleh instead and it would be causing tension in my marriage to Shannie. Thank you for reading my fanfic.