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Hypochondria as a legitimate hobby

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  • Vanessa - I hear you on the touch-starved thing. I've been single for ages, my family isn't physically demonstrative, and I'm mostly a solitary person. But sometimes you just need contact. And these past few months have been strange. A few weeks ago the cat crawled on my lap when I was watching a movie - he snuggled up, and then gave me head bumps and paw massages. It was the first time since my surgery that he's willingly cuddled up to me and I got kind of teary eyed when I realized it. Last year he used to snuggle up to me after chemo or lay on my bed after radiation but hasn't been affectionate since. And I didn't realize how much I missed it until then.

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    • Oh man, you guys. I wish I could hug y'all SO FUCKING HARD right now.

      This pandemic is such an intensifier. If there was any friction point in our lives before (people always around us, people never around us, depression, anxiety, loneliness, overwhelm-iness etc), the pandemic blows it up tenfold into a major THING, with no way to know if/when the tunnel is going to open back up into light. It's no wonder all of our mental health is getting shaky!


      And of course things just keep getting weirder and stupider in the world, which doesn't help. We don't even know what happened to the murder hornets, I guess it got too weird for them to even want to see their sub-plot all the way through, and I don't blame them a bit.





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      • My life is as calm as it could be and I'm still a fucking mess, so I don't even know how I'd be coping if I had extra/aggravating factors. I'm just tired and lonely and frustrated and dreading winter if not outright afraid of it.
        Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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        • It was the first time since my surgery that he's willingly cuddled up to me and I got kind of teary eyed when I realized it.
          Awww, I am lucky that one of my cats is always super affectionate, and the other is when he wants a meal. Of course my boy cat had an adventure this weekend and tore his CCL (like humans’ ACL), so he is currently confined to a cage for his own safety, and hating his life. Take a number Mookie, we’re all pretty confined at the moment.

          dreading winter if not outright afraid of it
          I feel torn on this. On the one hand winter might make everyone stay home and behave, but flu season may be horrible. So it has potential in both directions. At least now we can get outside and have some sun to make us feel a little better.
          Last edited by vanessa; 07-07-2020, 01:01 PM.

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          • Brought over from the celebrity topic because...

            And aneuryms are legit a paranoia of mine when I swim alone
            I’ve told you all I had a brain aneurysm once, right? No lie, I was on the phone with my PCP today asking advice about migraines and he told me that I have every right to be a hypochondriac about headaches. My therapist tells me the same thing.

            The whole thing was because the other way that lockdown sucks is that all of this screen time, all of these beekdamned zoom calls I am on have me migraining, again, aura and all, just like when I was menopausing. It’s absolutely eye strain and it’s gotten old. My eye doctor told me when I got new glasses a month ago that he is seeing it from everyone.
            Last edited by vanessa; 07-09-2020, 07:13 PM.

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            • I’ve told you all I had a brain aneurysm once, right? No lie, I was on the phone with my PCP today asking advice about migraines and he told me that I have every right to be a hypochondriac about headaches.

              It's not hypochondria if your brain is actually trying to kill you, yikes, v!




              Y'all remember that mystery virus I had back in March? Well, my new doc did a bunch of antibody tests to figure out why I still feel so crappy/fatigued/out of breath and it turns out I had Mono -- and I STILL have it. I'm not contagious anymore, but I've been fighting an active Epstein Barr virus in my system for 4 freaking months. Somehow I managed to not get mono until my forties, so weird. And the worst timing evah, since it convinced me I was dying of C-19 for weeks. (antibody tests confirmed that my original Covid test was correct . . . I've never had Covid). Blood tests also showed liver damage, but the doc says that should repair itself when I finally get the EBV to deactivate. EBV never leaves your body, I guess? It just goes dormant (hopefully).


              I'm assuming the fact that I'm currently battling one virus would make me extra susceptible to another virus, right?


              So . . . never leaving the house again!











              ETA EBV can also cause anxiety spikes/panic attacks/mental fog/memory issues which explains so much! I don't just have pandemic brain, I also have dumb virus brain. I am weirdly relieved about this.
              Last edited by ophy; 07-14-2020, 11:30 AM.

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              • It is so good to have a diagnosis! To me it makes sense to be relieved over that.

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                • Oh, my God ophy! I hope now that they know what you have you'll be able to get better. Sooo weird.

                  Vanessa I didn't know you had an aneurysm. You are right. I'd be super careful too.
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                  • Holy shit! And it causes anxiety spikes and that panic attacks on top of everything else!? I’m so glad you know for sure what’s up.

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                    • I went to the dentist today for the first time since Covid and it was weird, but not as freaky as I was imagining. They had everything tarped up, my hygienist was basically in a biohazard suit, and I didn't even see any other patients the whole time I was there. Next step is a gyne check which also freaks me out, but I guess if I can have someone all up in my mouth, it's not any bigger of a deal to have another person rummaging downstairs.

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                      • I've had a gun appointment just the other day. No other patients around and she wore a mask, gloves and a surgical cap. I felt ok, safe enough. I mean, we can't ignore other medical issues forever.
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                        • I had my two-year oncology-gyn visit and it was fine. I canceled my dentist appointment and it was just as well because my car very randomly broke down the morning I was supposed to go!

                          I'm mostly exhausted and miserable and I hate this *waves arms* and I wish there was an awesome TV show that checked off all my favorite dumb shit. I might re-watch something and just drink the winter away? I'm not sure.

                          Also, work is terrrrrrible now. So that's neat.
                          Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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                          • I am glad your two year went well, Is.

                            I went to the dentist for a cleaning in July which was fine enough, but he decided I needed two crowns, and it started a wave of awful that I am still fighting my way out of. The appointments themselves were weird but fine - temperature checks and them in hazmat suits and all. But either holding my mouth open for an hour or the Novocaine gave me this absolutely miserable migraine that lasted for a full week. I ended up going to the e.r. (inner city e.r. during a pandemic, super fun) and getting their "migraine cocktail" (an anti-emetic and Benadryl, which was interesting?) and that helped, but didn't actually stop it. They called it an "intractable migraine". What finally ended it was when my PCP gave me a steroid dose pack. Which unfortunately chewed up my stomach like crazy and I am only just now starting to feel like that has healed. This is just a lot of whining, but it was just like 2020 that a simple dentist appointment has caused me so much annoyance.

                            In short: the dentists seem to be on top of being safe in this stupid thing, in my experience.

                            I changed the lighting in the bay window where I work and ordered some blackout blinds and my migraines have settled down, so that's a good side effect of the whole thing blowing up on me.

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                            • WUT.

                              V, that sounds like hell, wowza. I canceled my dentist appt twice, but finally just sucked it up and went. it was fine. In and out pretty quick, errrybuddy wore the hazmat basically, and I saw no other patients.



                              Really glad your oncology appt went well, is but this?


                              I'm mostly exhausted and miserable and I hate this *waves arms* and I wish there was an awesome TV show that checked off all my favorite dumb shit.







                              (both kids are home all day doing online school and I haaaaate it!) (oh and I'm still trying to get rid of this stupid mono and I hate that too!)

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                              • "Intractable migraine" just about sums up this year! Sorry, v! Glad you're on the mend-ish.

                                Maybe I have mono? It would explain a lot.

                                I just stay home and buy View-Master reels on eBay and try to not to let work make me crazy. I used to love work!
                                Itís just really honestly so tiring and emotionally draining to have to get upset over reality constantly.

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