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Hypochondria as a legitimate hobby

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  • vanessa
    replied
    It was the first time since my surgery that he's willingly cuddled up to me and I got kind of teary eyed when I realized it.
    Awww, I am lucky that one of my cats is always super affectionate, and the other is when he wants a meal. Of course my boy cat had an adventure this weekend and tore his CCL (like humans’ ACL), so he is currently confined to a cage for his own safety, and hating his life. Take a number Mookie, we’re all pretty confined at the moment.

    dreading winter if not outright afraid of it
    I feel torn on this. On the one hand winter might make everyone stay home and behave, but flu season may be horrible. So it has potential in both directions. At least now we can get outside and have some sun to make us feel a little better.
    Last edited by vanessa; Today, 12:01 PM.

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  • isadora
    replied
    My life is as calm as it could be and I'm still a fucking mess, so I don't even know how I'd be coping if I had extra/aggravating factors. I'm just tired and lonely and frustrated and dreading winter if not outright afraid of it.

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  • ophy
    replied
    Oh man, you guys. I wish I could hug y'all SO FUCKING HARD right now.

    This pandemic is such an intensifier. If there was any friction point in our lives before (people always around us, people never around us, depression, anxiety, loneliness, overwhelm-iness etc), the pandemic blows it up tenfold into a major THING, with no way to know if/when the tunnel is going to open back up into light. It's no wonder all of our mental health is getting shaky!


    And of course things just keep getting weirder and stupider in the world, which doesn't help. We don't even know what happened to the murder hornets, I guess it got too weird for them to even want to see their sub-plot all the way through, and I don't blame them a bit.





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  • Res
    replied
    Vanessa - I hear you on the touch-starved thing. I've been single for ages, my family isn't physically demonstrative, and I'm mostly a solitary person. But sometimes you just need contact. And these past few months have been strange. A few weeks ago the cat crawled on my lap when I was watching a movie - he snuggled up, and then gave me head bumps and paw massages. It was the first time since my surgery that he's willingly cuddled up to me and I got kind of teary eyed when I realized it. Last year he used to snuggle up to me after chemo or lay on my bed after radiation but hasn't been affectionate since. And I didn't realize how much I missed it until then.

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  • vanessa
    replied
    Oh that’s an interesting idea. I wouldn’t rent out my own place - our condo laws are restrictive on that and also I don’t want people in my stuff - but maybe a house rental somewhere else would be a good break. And there are plenty of things within drivable distance from here because I am not flying.

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  • IssieCol
    replied
    Oh, V, I'm so sorry! The emotional toll of all of this is unbelievable so just let yourself feel whatever you need to feel! It's easy to assume that introverts are living our best lives right now, but even dedicated hermits have their limits. And for introverts who are living with extroverts, this is not an ideal situation OMG. Would you consider subletting your place and going somewhere else for a couple of months, just to get a change of environment? Maybe somewhere beachy? I would be super excited for you to live out your own version of The Holiday.

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  • vanessa
    replied
    Thanks. I shouldn’t be complaining too much; I know how lucky I am - I have a job I can do from home and a house and friends who would help me if I needed it. I am just in a low point at the moment.

    Spending all that time with the Mr has gotta be a double-edged sword of good but also a bit much. I feel for people whose relationships are not great, and they are stuck together for now.

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  • isadora
    replied
    Aw, I'm so sorry. Mr. Is and I have each other, of course, but we also have never spend this much time together, like nonstop for MONTHS. It's also weird, in a different way. Maybe score a hookup buddy?

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  • vanessa
    replied
    The stress of trying to figure out what we should be doing is so draining, and the stakes feel so high. It kind of broke me this week, with all the numbers getting higher and the fact that we’ve now let this thing get out of control. It’s just going to rage on and a million people are going to die, and I am going to keep hiding in my house till it’s done.

    I gave up on the dating apps; I was supposed to do a socially distant thing with a guy this weekend, but I told him I don’t feel safe and good luck.

    I posted something on Facebook about going to the dentist being welcome human contact, and I told my therapist about it and he said that we’re all starved for touch in some way. And he says that even though he has a girlfriend and kids and his parents living with him. So I started thinking about the last time someone hugged me, and it was March. Because I have no immediate family, and no romantic partner, and the few people I have seen from a distance all observed the rules. I feel so fucking lonely.

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  • isadora
    replied
    Mr. Is's mom was going to come visit and we thought that would be nice -- since our numbers are low here -- but then we realized she was going to take Amtrak instead of driving and we were like: uhhh, YOU ARE 74 WTF ARE YOU THINKING? So we asked her not to come and Mr. Is felt SUPER guilty because we haven't seen them barely at all in the past year (they live a few hours away by car). So he decided it would be safer to go home and see the family (supposed to be okay weather, planned to mostly work in mom's yard, etc.).

    So he's on the road now and I feel pretty worried about it. He was going to stay with a friend but his friend is throwing a big bonfire party for his gf on Saturday and I was like; YOU CAN NOT GO TO THAT. NO PARTIES! Keep it under 10 people at all times! He's super stressed about this trip. He's now staying with his dad (who smokes, has cancer, and spends all his free time at the casino!) and almost didn't go b/c he thinks his various family members that he plans to mostly see outside are all not taking it seriously AT ALL.

    It's all so maddening and it's so confusing to know what the right thing to do is.

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  • LaaLaa
    replied
    That’s exactly it. Wearing a piece of fabric over your faceholes for half an hour to prevent someone’s grandma from getting tubed is so doable. It’s a gross, depressing realization that some people can’t and won’t think beyond their moments of inconvenience.

    I forgot to say I’m so jealous of your leisurely stroll through Target, Is. My last Target run was 3 minutes tops because it was packed and I was dodging unmasked people like a video game.

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  • vanessa
    replied
    I saw something on Twitter yesterday that said if you're not wearing a mask, you need to understand that it's not that you're willing to die or get sick to avoid it, it's that you're willing to kill to avoid it and I wish people would realize that. Obvsies, that's a super dramatic breakdown of the argument, but it's not wrong.
    What a great framing. Totally using that.

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  • IssieCol
    replied
    Oh, I still gotta go in 2/3x a week, but at least the people who don't have patient facing roles don't have to come in which protects all of us. On any given normal day, our institution has 15k employees on campus and several thousand more patients and families and during Covid, we probs have 1/3 the number of people on site daily.

    I guess Hurricane Katrina should have been a clue that we are a failed nation when it comes to protecting and taking care of our own
    Katrina was the first time I realized that if anything was gonna get done to protect people affected by tragedy, it had to happen at a local level. Houston jumped in QUICK, opened up the Astrodome and the convention center to house people from Louisiana, and got donations in by the truckloads. It was all just like coordinated efforts by churches and charities. FEMA sat around with their thumbs up their butts for weeks. What sucks about Covid (apart from the actual virus and death) is seeing people who won't participate in the community effort to keep each other safe. AFAIC, it's no different from a natural disaster where we all kind of take stock of the situation, figure out how to help each other, and then just fucking do it. Except this is actually easier. Instead of having to rip up rotting carpet from some stranger's house after a flood, you just stay home whenever possible and then wear a mask when you have to go out.

    I saw something on Twitter yesterday that said if you're not wearing a mask, you need to understand that it's not that you're willing to die or get sick to avoid it, it's that you're willing to kill to avoid it and I wish people would realize that. Obvsies, that's a super dramatic breakdown of the argument, but it's not wrong.

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  • isadora
    replied
    Issie, I'm SO GLAD you get to stay home. Obviously, it's a shit show but the fewer people in the eye of the storm, the better.

    I am deeply sad and overwhelmed by so much right now it's hard to process. And I'm insanely lucky, overall, of course! We both have our jobs, we are safe at home, etc. But it's really isolating and weird and stressful all the same.

    It's really hit me the last couple of days that we our a country without a leader. I thought certain elements would kick in and just do the work -- THE CDC FOR EXAMPLE -- and now I understand the lack of presidential leadership is not just weird. It's deadly. The lack of a plan has left us rudderless and largely facing this shit as a bunch of cities and states competing for resources with no overarching goal or plan in sight. It shouldn't be *that* shocking to me, I guess, but it is. I guess Hurricane Katrina should have been a clue that we are a failed nation when it comes to protecting and taking care of our own during times of crisis that don't need guns to resolve it. It's all very depressing.

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  • LaaLaa
    replied
    Ugh. I’m so sorry, dude. That sounds like a plan, but dear God, everything sucks. My nurse friend who lives in Austin starts every convo with that meteor.

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