I Feel Pretty: The Beauty Thread

[snickerdoodle]

Ok guys. I need help with my current beauty dilemma. A friend of mine is a hairstylist and she keeps offering to cut my hair and do my highlights at her salon for a good price. I've been desperately looking for a new place to go since I moved down here. But I just feel weird about going to a friend. What if I hate what she does? What if I cheat on her with another stylist and she notices? I feel like I can't just not go back if I don't like it because I see her socially a couple times a week. And we're not close friends so I don't feel comfortable telling her if I hate the cut. I haven't seen what kind of work she does so I have no idea if she's any good, and I don't really care for her hair.

So, Dilemma recap: take a chance and get a great deal on a haircut or kindly demurr and keep looking for someone else?

<--- has hair issues

[NeoMaxy]

You should offer to pick her up for lunch one day when you know she's working, and show up early enough to observe her in action.

You look like an awesome friend and you get a preview. Tada!

[vanessa]

I think it's a bad idea to use her as your stylist, unless your hair is just the easiest thing in the world to cut and you never stylist-hop. You can always tell her that you're really fussy about your hair (even if you're not) and that you don't want to cause a potential problem with your friendship. (The old "It's not you; it's me" breakup line). I understand the great deal you'll be passing up financially, but the lack of uncomfortable social situations may be worth paying more for a haircut. Ask her for a recommendation, maybe?

[isadora]

What if she's awesome? Does anyone in your social circle go to her? I say give it a try! Why does everyone feel they have to form a relationship with stylists? If she sucks just say you found your hair stylist soul mate and she'll have to be your back-up betty!

[Sarah]

<-- wouldn't go either

Oh I don't know, it's a toss up. You sure you can't be honest up front and ask "What if it's ass?! Will we still be friends?" That can work with the proper delivery. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do it unless we had some amazing friendship where I could make her fix it and we'd be laughing about it the whole time.

I chopped off my hair yesterday since it looked like the Cowardly Lion before picture and now it's a short A-line at my chin AND reddish brown. Now that my bangs grew out, I don't think I like my forehead.

[snickerdoodle]

Thanks ladies! Sarah and vanessa, you totally validated what I've been thinking. I actually AM very picky about who cuts my hair (it's naturally curly and thick and if cut the wrong way it can look like 70's era Bette Midler), so I have a hard time trusting new people. For some reason, most stylists either straighten curly hair to be bone straight or else cut it to make it super curly, and it's hard to find the person who knows the happy medium.

And, we're not super close friends, we just see each other every week because our kids are bestest buds. So she's part of my mommy social circle, not my primary circle, and so I'd feel uncomfortable hurting her feelings. Remember, I'm the nice one!!

[NeoMaxy]

I feel you, I'd totally feel weird about having a friend cut my hair, too. Not for anything other than a blunt-cut trim, anyway.


If you have curly/wavy hair, don't let that ho razorcut it!

Seriously, I think a lot of them just luuuuuv to razorcut so much that they do it on everyone. But for wavy/curly, it screws you up when it starts to grow.

<--learned this the hard way in June.

[Herman]

And, we're not super close friends, we just see each other every week because our kids are bestest buds.

Just more proof that children are great source of trouble.

<-- surprisingly has nothing valuable to add!

[vanessa]

I have a hard time trusting new people. For some reason, most stylists either straighten curly hair to be bone straight or else cut it to make it super curly, and it's hard to find the person who knows the happy medium.

I have the same hair issues as you and it's taken me forever to find somebody I trust cutting my hair. Now, I don't like the way she styles it after the cut, but I've learned to ignore that because the cut itself is always good. Plus the color she put in my hair a little while ago looks oh so fabulous.

A friend recommended the book Curly Girl to me and maybe others with curly hair might enjoy it. It's a little insane - she recommends not shampooing your hair, but cleaning it with conditioner - but it has some good advice and is cute in its celebration of the naturally curly. I've not signed on to the no-shampoo program, but I have been trying to shampoo less than every day and I think it's helping. Also I've completely stopped brushing my hair every night before bed on advice of the book.

[CoreyFlood]

I have a friend that I always used to swap curly hair horror stories with, but she just had thermal reconditioning done to her hair (also known as the Japanese hair straightening treatment) for a *mere* $500 bucks. (She now only has to go back for touch-ups, much like someone with colored or bleached hair would get their roots done.)

It's completely straight, right from the shower. No frizz in the rain and/or humidity. I'm in total awe and amazement of her hair, only a little (okay, a lot) jealous and trying to determine whether or not I think that is too much money to spend on my vanity.

But if time is money, I guess I could figure in all the hours I'd save with blowdrying and other straightening tools and products.

<--- probably easily spends that much on hair maintenance over the course of a year

[snickerdoodle]

Thanks for the book recco Vanessa, I think I'll check it out! I've started shampooing only every other day and it definitely helps.

I've had my hair straightened before (but not the Japanese thing) and I always feel like I don't look like me. Plus, I feel for people with bone straight hair...you guys require a hell of a lot of styling. But now Corey's post has me thinking a lot about that again...

[vanessa]

It took me a really long time to get to this place, but I now like my hair curly and no longer dream of straightening it. It's just so much easier this way - I never blow-dry or do very much styling at all. Just wash, gel, and scrunch and I'm out the door. I used to have a stylist who would sometimes straighten it after a cut, just for fun, and while it was cute, like snick I didn't really look like myself. The no frizz in the humidity thing is tempting though, isn't it?

[piggay]

Remember, I'm the nice one!!

I snick. I don't like getting friends to do anything since I want the option to be pissed off and say so if I don't like what I get. I'm willing to pay retail if I can be a bitch without guilt. I also don't like to owe people. It prevents me from being my self righteous self. Heh. I guess for me it's a power thing.

Fortunately, my hair isn't that hard to cut as long as the stylist and I are on the same wavelength (no bangs, no crazy layers). I just have A LOT of THICK straight hair so the razor works very well for me. And the thinning shears too. The bad thing is that I can't keep my hair long. It just gets way too bushy even with the thinning and stuff.

In other news, I've placed myself on a moratorium from sephora shopping. So many cute holiday sets! But I must save money! *sob*

[snickerdoodle]

mmmm...sephora. I just met a woman who is a VP of marketing for them.

<--- plotting how to become good enough friends with her where I can benefit from her employee discount.

[LaaLaa]

Ooh! I've heard about that Japanese ion straightening process. Do you know if it's hard to style once it's stick-straight? I'm getting SUPERbored with my hair and I'm thinking of dyeing it for the first time evah. From pitch black to something like this:



...only modified for long, layered (and, yeah, black) hair. There's too much blonde in that shit. Anyway, in your unprofessional opinion, is it hideous?